Leaving Purgatory
by spottedhorse
Summary: The aftermath of Sara's kidnapping. Lots of Grissom, Brass, and Catherine plus a new character or two. Angst, romance, H/C, friendship, a little bit supernatural, with some crime thrown in for fun. Rated MA as in smut. Reviews are good!
1. Chapter 1

ONE

It was his first day back. As he drove into the parking lot he was filled with a sense of dread. He didn't know how he would be able to survive the shift. After almost seven years, he had gotten used to seeing her around the lab. Used to working beside her. Stealing glances and smiles. And not so long ago had been used to coming home to spend the day with her. Now she was gone. How was he going to make it through the first day back at work since Sara's death? He felt tears welling up and knew he had to change the thoughts running through his brain. He just didn't know how. And he didn't really want to turn off the images of her that were constantly with him. To make matters worse, Ecklie had called to tell him that a new CSI would be starting tonight—Sara's replacement. How was he going to even look at him? What was his name again? Oh yeah, Glen something...hmmm, Glen Reeves, he thought.

He made his way quickly through the hall and almost bolted into his office. Don't want to have to talk to anyone, he thought. He looked around and saw the miniatures, just where he'd left them. "Damn." He'd get one of the guys to box them up and store them. He didn't want to look at them ever again. One more sad reminder of Sara and her being snatched away from him and out of his life forever. Everything seemed so empty, pointless now. Hopefully work would help. Everybody said it would. He wasn't so sure.

Grissom hadn't really been able to focus on anything since that horrible day when she had disappeared. They had searched for her and scrutinized the miniature looking for clues about her location. He'd tried to interrogate the suspect...murderer...himself. He still felt guilt as he remembered how he'd gotten so close to winning her trust but somehow had messed up. She caught on that that his only purpose was to find Sara and precious time had been lost. If only they could have found her a little sooner. Minutes...seconds …...might have made all the difference. His face twisted as he remembered lying in the mud next to her, reaching under the car in a desperate attempt to pull her close to him. Her hand gasped his and he could still feel the cold muddy grip of her fingers as she struggled to hold on. "Grissom," her weak voice had whispered. "You're here….I knew you would come." He could still hear his own voice, "I'm here, honey, and I'm not letting go. You have to hold on….hold on to my hand….I'm here. Sara...hold on...I need you….I love you. You can't leave me….your the one that's fought for us all along and now I finally get it….stay with me honey. I'll be lost without you," he cried. "Always...with...you," she'd said as her grasp loosened and she slipped away from him forever.

He sat at his desk, tears working their way down his face. Damn, he thought…..can't do this. Sara. Honey, please come through that door...please. The doorway remained empty...as empty as his soul. He wiped away his tears and began to gather strength. The image of her sweet smiling face was foremost in his mind. The image that would always give him the ability to move forward. An image that also would always remind him that he was an incomplete man, a man that would always be missing a huge chunk of his heart.

Finally Grissom took a deep breath and headed out of his office to pick up tonight's assignments. Ecklie had said that Cath had done a good job but he was needed back. It was a close as Ecklie would ever get to complimenting Grissom and saying he did a good job. Funny, once that might have meant something. Now it just didn't matter. He collected the cases and walked toward the break room where everyone would be. He paused briefly to steal himself before entering the room. Finally he stepped through the door where his team and something he'd only recently come to truly appreciate, his friends, were waiting. Their emotions overwhelmed him. No one said anything but it was on their faces—the sadness, the worry, and the sympathy for him. But they were also glad to see him back in his lab. Catherine stepped up and gave him a quick hug. "Good to have you back, boss" The others smiled and expressed similar thoughts and Grissom began to relax. Maybe he'd make it through the night after all.

"Nick, you have a Bobbitt over at the Oasis," he said.

"Ouch" exclaimed Nick in a queasy voice.

Warrick smiled, "I feel for you brother." Greg crossed his legs and sat down. Catherine had to look away to keep from laughing out loud. Okay, thought Grissom, this could be okay.

Just then Ecklie appeared in the doorway with a woman. "Gil... everyone, this is your new CSI…" Damn" thought Grissom, this is where I'm going to lose it. …. "Glynis Rees." The team introduced themselves as Ecklie left. The new addition smiled and offered "Please call me Glyn. It is great to be here."

Grissom was surprised, he was expecting a man. He'd almost been prepared for a guy, but a woman….his heart sank. It was if fate was working against him. He tried to look at her but he couldn't quite get his eyes to focus on her. She seemed to be 40ish with short, auburn hair and about 5 1/2 feet tall. But he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. "I'm just handing out assignments," he said in her direction. "Warrick, Brass is waiting for you out in Henderson. There was a break in and,... well, he called for CSI. Greg, you've got a robbery over on Fremont. Take the newbie with you. No, wait, I think she needs to go with Nick." They all looked at him and Glyn looked stunned. What had he done now, he wondered. "Cath, I need to talk to you about the Wilson case. "Okay everybody, GO."

He began walking toward his office as Cath followed. "Gill….I can't believe you just did that…."

"What?"

She continued, "….called her THE NEWBIE? She has experience AND she has a name, you know." She was giving him the Catherine look. "And you didn't even look at her! Way to make her feel welcome."

"I can't look at her," he said emphatically. "I..I ju.. just can't." He continued softly, sadly... "Not yet anyway. I can't believe Ecklie's already replacing Sara. How can anyone replace Sara?"

"You're right," she responded, reaching out to him and touching his arm. "No one can replace Sara…. especially in your heart. But …..We do need help and hopefully Glyn will be good help. She doesn't know about Sara….doesn't understand how you are hurting. Just try to give her a fair chance, okay? And remember, we are here for you. We're your family and we want to help you get through this….get to a place, well …..Where it doesn't hurt so much.".

"I know, Cath. And I wouldn't have made it this far without you...all of you. But you especially. We've been friends for years and you know me as well as anybody. I couldn't have made it this far without your help. Thanks….I mean it….really, thanks." He gathered her in and hugged her. This must be what's its like to have a sister, he thought.

Catherine shocked that he had opened up and expressed his feelings, returned his hug and then gently pulled away. I'll let him off the hook, she thought. His emotions were really raw and I know he'll be embarrassed later. Better to keep it short.

"Yeah...well, about the Wilson case…" she said and they began discussing the case.


	2. Chapter 2

TWO

The rest of the team headed out to their cases. Nick and Glyn walked toward his Tahoe. "So, Glyn, you from Vegas or did you just move here?"

"Moved from Texas. I used to be in Dallas but when I saw a job posting for Vegas, I just couldn't pass it up. This is the best...and some of the cases I've read about coming from here….well, the do get interesting."

Nick laughed as the climbed into the vehicle. "I grew up in Texas. Sometimes I really miss it but this is a great team to work with and Gris is a great boss." He started the car and they headed out of the lot.

"Really? I thought I heard a little Texas twang in your voice. What part?"

"Around Dallas before I moved here. My dad is a judge. Kinda wanted to make my own name, ya know?"

"Yeah, I can see that. You say Gris...is that what ya'll call him? ….Gris, is a great boss? I kinda got the feeling he wasn't too happy to see me tonight."

"Well, yeah we mostly call him Gris, although Cath calls him Gil a lot too. Sometimes it's Grissom. He's actually got a PhD but he'll never call your attention to it. He only uses the Dr. Gil Grissom in court or when he really needs to sound authoritative. Anyway, his mood has nothing to do with you. It's just who you are replacing that bothers him."

"Who am I replacing?"

"Sara. They knew each other a long time and ….well….she was killed about a month ago and we didn't find out how much he cared for her 'til the end….I mean, well….they were more than just friends, if yaw know what I mean. He took it pretty hard. He's never been a guy to have a lot of people in his life and to lose someone that was that close….well; he's having a hard time. He'll get better. But he's always kinda quirky anyway, so you have to learn when to take him seriously and when he's just being weird. He's a great guy though. Once you get to know him a little better you'll see what I mean."

They parked at the Oasis and started in. "I hate Bobbitts," moaned Nick. Glyn couldn't help but smile. Thus was one team member with which she was going to enjoy working.

The room was on the third floor. Entering the room, the CSIs observed blood everywhere. Splatter coated the walls and the bed. A pool of blood had formed in the carpet where the vic had fallen. The paramedics were at work, trying to control the bleeding and prepare him for transport. Jim Brass waited by the window. Nick led the way toward the veteran cop, followed by Glyn.

"Jim Brass," Nick nodded toward Glyn, "this is our new CSI, "Glyn Rees."

Jim nodded in her direction as she acknowledged him. "Henderson...yeah I was there but they called me in on this one and O'Reilly is out there. We got a guy with a missing part. Housekeeping found him. Paramedics have been working on him and it looks like the guy might have a chance. If you find his, well, you know….thing, put it on ice and send it to the hospital ASAP. Vic's name is Sam Foxx …..Tourist from Iowa. I gotta get out of here for a minute…..a little too much reality here, ya know what I mean? I'll go interview the housekeeper see what else I can dig up." He stepped around the medics and headed to the door, stopping just inside. "I just hope it's not a slice and dice." he grimaced. "Hurts me to even say it." And he was gone.

The paramedics had the vic loaded and wheeled him out of the room and Nick and Glyn had it to themselves. Nick looked at his new partner, "Well, Glyn….let's get started. Guess we'll start with prints and spatter. Which do you want?"

"I'll start with the prints," she replied as she opened her kit and found what she needed to start.

The two worked their way around the room, collecting evidence and examining everything.

As Glyn made her way around the room, when she began to notice a pattern of blood drops in the carpet. "Hey Nick, come look at this…." She kneeled next to the spots. Nick walked over to check it out. "Look at that pattern….looks like the perp must have held the vic's penis and shaken it….like this," she said as she held her hand in the air shaking its imaginary contents up and down.

"Yeah," Nick agreed. Looking around he spotted an odd pattern on the wall. Moving closer he continued, "Looks like it was thrown against the wall here….see these marks on the wall. Looks like the general shape, don't you think?"

"I'm not sure this guy's going to want it back," said Glyn. "I mean, it'll be in pretty bad shape if we find it."

"It's probably too late to reattach by now anyway." Nick grimaced. He moved into the bathroom. "Hey Glyn….see if Brass is still with the maid. Find out how many towels she kept stocked in here."

Glyn stepped into the hallway and spotted Brass and the housekeeper down the hall. "Brass, we need to know how many towels?"He looked up in her direction and nodded. He turned again to the maid and continued his questioning.

Glyn stepped back into the room and continued her search. Nick stepped out of the bathroom, looking around. "Didn't Brass say he's a tourist?"

"Yeah."

"Seem like he's traveling light to you?"

"Yeah, just a small bag ….may a couple days worth of clothes."

"Yeah, not many toiletries either," Nick added.

Brass poked his head in the doorway, "Maid said she stocked three towels, two hand towels, and four wash cloths yesterday. I'm headed to the hospital to check on the vic."

"What's with the number of towels, Nick?"

"Well, there's only one towel in there now. I'm wondering if the perp didn't wrap it up and take it with him….or her, I guess." Nick winced as he thought about it.

"Does seem more like a woman's crime." acknowledged Glyn.

Nick and Glyn finished the room, packed their gear and evidence and headed out. "Homicide must be having a slow day," Nick commented.

"Why do you say that? Not that it's a bad thing, I would think."

"Well, Brass is homicide. Usually when he's on the scene, somebody died."

"Well, with the blood loss it might be the case. You seem to know him pretty well?"

"Yeah, he's been around ever since I've been here."

"Not originally though….I thought I detected an accent from New York...or New Jersey, maybe?"

"New Jersey. You good with accents…..figuring out where people are from, I mean?"

"It's a game I like to play. For fun, mostly. I just like to study people and try to figure them out. Then find out how much I got right."

"Yeah? I know somebody else kinda like that," Nick said as he thought of Grissom.


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

Greg had finished clearing his crime scene and was heading back to the lab. He was still wondering if Grissom had realized that he'd sent Greg out solo. Gris didn't do that often, especially since the James case. Well, things were changing. Greg began wondering about the new team member. She was a little old for him but wow, was she hot! Things were sure to be interesting for awhile.

He pulled up at the lab and headed inside. He saw Grissom in the hall. "Hey, Gris. Just got back and I have a zillion fingerprints to process. I also have the security tape and a knife that was used to threaten the clerk."

"Good Greg," as they walked along the corridor. "Let me know what you uncover." With that Grissom peeled off in another direction.

Grissom saw Nick in the break room. "Hey Nick. You back from your Bobbitt? Where's the new..ah Glyn?"

"Yeah, we're back. The guy was in pretty bad shape. He might not make it. Anyway, we collected the evidence and Glyn took the blood samples over to get it processed. We also had a couple of witness that saw the aftermath but no eyewitness to the event. She found...I mean Glyn...found some patterns in the blood and there were some towels missing from the bathroom. Didn't find a weapon or the guy's, well...uh thing. Guess he'll need a lot of surgeries to make things right….."Nick's voice trailed off and both men reacted to the thought. Don't really have much to work with yet unless the fingerprints tell us something. She's getting that checked out too. I think she's gonna be good, Gris."

"She's following up on all the evidence and you're…..what?" Grissom's eyes were scolding Nick.

"Grabbing a bite. Then I'll go help her out."

"Okay, let me know how it goes."

Grissom headed back to his office and saw her, Glyn, "got to remember her name," he thought. She was in trace talking to Hodges. He looked fascinated. Grissom stood in the doorway and listened as she told Hodges about a Bobbitt case she had worked in Dallas. "But you all have so much more to work with here," she was finishing. "I am so excited to be here on the front line of forensics."

"Excuse me," ventured Grissom. "Glyn, may I see you in my office please." He still couldn't really look at her, just in her direction. "I failed to properly indoctrinate you to the team before."

They walked to his office and as he neared his desk, he turned around. "Mind rolling up your sleeve?"

"W…. What?" she stammered. "My sleeve? Why?" She began rolling up her sleeve.

"Yeah, your sleeve. Roll it up, please." he continued as he gave the new hire her first impish Grissom smile.. "I need a pint of your blood. It's customary with all new hires"

"Whyyyy?"

"So many reasons……" he smiled and with that he drew her blood.

As she watched she wondered about this strange man. She'd read about him before taking the job but he is so much more interesting in the flesh, she thought. Her eyes focused on his face and she couldn't help but admire his good looks. His curly hair and blue eyes made quite a combination. And there was such expression in those eyes. His neatly trimmed beard gave him a rakish look; an edginess in his demeanor. She also saw strength in his face. And a great capacity for kindness. She had the feeling that he could be a very good friend or someone's worst nightmare. Right now he looked like he was in pain but trying to ignore it. She supposed that the pain had to do with Sara.

Grissom felt her assessing him. He hoped that he was masking his expression enough to provide sufficient camouflage. Here was one person, at least, that wasn't worrying about him—or worse, pitying him. "Finished. Have a seat over here, please," as he pointed to the chair near his desk. He settled into his chair and really tried to look at her. But he just couldn't. He wanted so much to look up and see Sara sitting there. "I ...I want to apologize for earlier," he stammered. "I shouldn't have called you the newbie. I understand you have some experience…..from Dallas, right?"

"Yes, but their lab isn't nearly as up to date as this one. They are good, I mean it IS Dallas and they do work very hard to provide everything….but they just don't look at forensics the same. It's my understanding that you are largely responsible for bringing this lab up to number 1?" she said.

"Well, a lot of people are responsible. But I am very proud to be a part of it." Damn, he liked her in spite of himself. "Well, I hope your first day is going okay….." he felt like he was fumbling. But he almost was able to look at her.

"Look, Gris…..is it okay if I call you that? Nick said everybody calls you that."

"Sure" he almost smiled. And he began to relax...a little.

"Well, Gris, I know you are just back from ….ah, a leave. And the first day back is always rough. And I also know that I am replacing someone who was very important to the team and everyone misses her. I know this is hard for you...all. I'm here because I'm good and I can add something to the team. It'll be awkward for everyone for a little while, I'm sure. But I really look forward to being accepted on the team and working with everyone. I know it'll take some time for me to fit in but I'm confident that eventually I will." Having said that she relaxed and smiled. The ball was in his court. She didn't know anything about this Sara except that she had been a very lucky woman to be loved so much by such a man!

"Ah...okay, well I'll let you get back to work. And...welcome to the team."

He watched as she left his office. "Damn, her tush is almost as good as Catherine's," he thought. "She might be alright after all. She'll certainly be fun to watch," he thought to himself as he turned his attention to the stack of reports on his desk.

Glyn found Nick, "the prints are running now. Blood from the walls is the victim's….no surprise there. The bloody marking on the wall consistent with the shape of a penis….no weapon and we don't have a good description of the woman running away. Nick, we've got a very angry woman out there and I'm not sure we're going to find her."

"We'll see what the prints show. Maybe review the descriptions…..maybe we can find enough similarities to at least get an idea of what the perp looks like. Sometimes, we just can't get 'em though."


	4. Chapter 4

FOUR

"Hey" Catherine came around the corner into Grissom's office. "Warrick's back. You're going to love this one."

"What?" Grissom looked up from the folder. "I thought he was supposed to report to me. Have I missed you getting a promotion or something?"

"Yeah...well, I just saw him in the hall. Evidently it was a real party out in Henderson."

Grissom sighed and decided he should hunt down Warrick to get the story. He and O'Reilly had spent most of the shift out there so it was probably a good one.

"How did it go in Henderson?" asked Grissom as he entered the break room. Warrick was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

Warrick finished swallowing and looked at Grissom. His friend looked tired. "I was just going to find you and tell you about it."

"So?..." Grissom looked inquiringly.

"I met O'Reilly out there at a residence….the, ah" Warrick looked at his notes "the Grady residence. Seems they were having a birthday party for one of their kids. They hired a cowboy to come ….you know like a clown or something…...and he showed up, horse and all."

Grissom was looking at him with his 'get to the point' smirk.

"A little while later another character showed up and said he was the ramrod...he had a couple of extra cowboys and horses.. Anyway, the cowboys got into a fight and Mr. Grady got in the middle and threw the latecomers out. Chishom stayed and finished his gig at the party and everybody was happy. But when everyone in the neighborhood started getting back to their houses…"

" Let me guess…."said Grissom. "All the houses had been broken into?"

"Yes. Apparently the late comers were actually the James/Younger gang."

"They were bank robbers, Warrick, not burglars" Grissom said sarcastically.

"Yeah, well….they've changed their MO. After gathering as much loot as they could carry they hopped on their horses tried to get the heck out of Dodge. The dogs in the area were going crazy and spooked the horses and they took off in all directions. One guy got thrown and one of the dogs got a piece of him. Had to print five houses, interview all the residents, and collected horse poop all up and down the street ….. Not to mention collecting the doggie bite evidence. There were cops, ambulances and even animal control was on the scene. It was a three ring circus for awhile. O'Reilly and his guys rounded up all the characters ...one was found in the middle of a cactus …..and their animals and took them to booking."

"Horses too?" Grissom asked with a smile. "A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle."

Warrick gave Grissom a puzzled look. "Okay," he said…."I give. Who said it?"

"Ian Fleming," Gris responded proudly.

"Yeah … okay….Well….animal control took them to horse jail."

"Take the evidence to the lab rats for processing and then get a prelim report written. Then you can head out if you want. You've had a rough day. You can do the rest of it tomorrow."

Warrick couldn't believe what he was hearing. Grissom never suggested that anyone should leave early. Wow, Sara had changed him! But he wasn't going to argue. Tina was off and he could actually spend some time with her.

Grissom turned to walk out and paused at the door. "Maybe I should have sent...Glyn?...with you. Sort of a welcome to Vegas ….

Glyn had heard the story from Catherine and had walked up behind him. "Horse poop and outlaws …..sounds like Texas to me…" she chuckled.

Grissom couldn't help himself. He turned and smiled as he walked back to his office.


	5. Chapter 5

It was late in the shift and Grissom was really feeling tired. He'd been trying, unsuccessfully, to dodge all the "glad to have you back, we're so sorry about Sara, how are you" platitudes from just about everyone in the lab. His team had been great….nothing since Catherine's hug at the beginning and their little talk. But they had been visiting him while he was on leave and all that could be said already had been said. He'd tried hiding in his office but it seemed he wasn't safe there either as some well wishers made a point to stop by. But his guys seemed to trying very hard to make it a business as usual kind of day. He appreciated that. He had learned to appreciate them so much in the last few weeks. They had developed a bond over the years but lately he'd come to realize just how much they meant to him….how much he NEEDED them. He'd always been a loner but thanks to Sara, he'd never be alone again. Funny, even with her gone he was feeling more loved than he'd ever felt in his life. She'd taught him to accept it and he was grateful.

He didn't notice Catherine standing in the doorway. She stood there watching his face as he was thinking. Unnoticed by him a tear had snuck down his cheek. His expression told her about what, or rather whom he was thinking.

"Gil," she spoke softly.

He looked up and blinked. To Catherine he looked like a lost child. "The gang's going to breakfast. Warrick is meeting us there. Sort of a welcome to the team for Glyn. Coming?"

He blinked again. Welcome to the team, he thought. For Sara's replacement. It's too soon; he felt the all too familiar tears in his eyes.

Catherine walked closer. "Really, Gil, it'd be nice if you came. But we'll all understand if you're not ready. Just want to be sure you know that we want you there."

He swallowed hard and fought for control. "I ….don't know, Cath. I'll. think about it," he stammered."

"Okay, well there's a little time left on the shift. Tell ya what. We'd love to see you there but if you don't show, we won't worry. No pressure. How's that?"

"Yeah. I'll try. I really will, I promise." He tried to smile but just couldn't.

She turned and headed out. After all these years….and Sara… he still always enjoyed watching Catherine walk away from him. It felt good to have a normal feeling again. A small smile slowly crept across his face. Good thing she's not my sister, he thought. A guy shouldn't look that at his sister like that.

Grissom was inclined to pass on the breakfast invitation, until he thought about going home to an empty townhouse. Bruno would be there but it wasn't quite the same. The sadness at that prospect was fueled more by loneliness in general than missing Sara in particular, he realized. After years of being on his own, he had created a bubble around himself, letting a few, select people inside….but only a. little. Cath had been one of the few…..and Jim too. Funny how you can have two really good friends, he thought, and they can be so different….the relationship so different. He and Cath spent time together outside of work, visiting each other and sharing an occasional meal. He and Jim rarely saw each other outside of work, but whenever things were getting to one or the other, they sought out one another and shared thoughts over a drink or cup of coffee. Over the years the three had developed a strong bond and always had each other's back. Hmm….thought Grissom, like the Three Musketeers. He smiled at the image. Maybe breakfast was a good idea.

The team was all gathered at their favorite breakfast spot. Everyone but Grissom had squeezed around the table. Even Brass had shown up, looking grim.

"Uuuucccck," whined Catherine. "Jim, you don't smell so good."

"Yeah, I was 'home on the range' for the first part of my shift. Then, I got the call to Nick's case and that was pretty ghastly. Well, you know the story. I promise I'll smell better tomorrow." Brass responded.

Glyn, squeezed up against the wall, was enjoying the obvious camaraderie within the group. She looked forward to being a real member of the team. They all seemed like people she would enjoy.

"Hey, where's the Bugman?" asked Brass.

"Hey wasn't sure he would be able to make it," replied Cath. "It is still tough for him and he looked really tired by the end of the shift."

"Yeah….. He doesn't do well with change," Brass said softly. Damn, he thought….can't believe I said that with the new girl there.

Nick looked across at Glyn to see how she took Brass's comment but she seemed okay.

"Wait," she said…."You call Grissom 'the Bugman?"

"Yeah," Greg jumped in. "He likes bugs. Actually he's an expert. That's his specialty. He's got them all over his office and has a pet tarantula too. He'll try to get you to feed it at some point. Eeewww," Greg shivered. "Its one of the first things, a case with bugs I mean, that he let me help with….out of the DNA lab, I mean….." Greg trailed off.

Glyn looked at Greg. He was kind of cute. Catherine had told her that he used to be more playful….not that he wasn't now….but he'd had a bad year that included a beating. Glyn could see that he would keep things interesting. As her gaze moved around the table, she looked at Warrick. He has an open, honest face, she thought. But something is bothering him right now.

"Hey, speak of the devil…." said Nick.

They looked up to see the Bugman walking toward them. Brass stood and pulled up another chair.

"Uh….hey," he said as he sat down. "I...I hope I got here in time?"

"Yeah, we just ordered." said Brass as he waived for the waitress to come over.

Grissom looked very uncomfortable and they all felt it. Catherine tried to change the atmosphere, "Might want to sit up wind of Brass, Gil. He's pretty funky. " Brass rolled his eyes and then licked his finger and held it up as if testing the wind. "Don't worry, you're safe," he declared.

Gil appreciated that no one was saying anything about the fact that he actually showed up. "Yeah, I heard you and Warrick were at a round up today, Jim."

They all chuckled and turned the conversation toward the other cases of the day. "Oh, Nick...Glyn, Doc called and said your Bobbitt vic ended up on his slab. Guess its murder now. How's the investigation going?"

Nick started to explain the evidence they'd found and where the investigation would be going from here, which right now seemed like nowhere. As he talked, Glyn noticed out of the corner of her eye that Grissom began to relax. He never said much all through breakfast but genuinely seemed happy to be there. As she watched and listened to her new colleagues, she was glad that she had decided to come here and work with these people. She noticed Brass glancing at Grissom occasionally, quietly checking to see that he was okay. There was a silent communication between the two men that had to be the product of having known each other for a long time. Glyn was overwhelmed with the feeling that she was very lucky that they were letting her into their little family, even if for the time being she was only a distant cousin.

The conversation began to wind down. "Oh, hey….I lost track of time," said

Catherine as she looked at her watch. "Gotta run. Supposed to have a meeting with one of Lindsey's teachers."

"Can't be good," said Warrick.

"With Lindsey….when the school calls it is never good." fired back Cath.

"I remember those calls form the school…" mused Jim. "Yeah, always my favorite phone calls….." Sadness crossed his face before he quickly masked it with sarcasm.

"Good Luck," called Nick as Catherine walked away.

They sat in silence for a minute and then Brass looked abruptly at the door. "She just stuck us with her check!" he exclaimed. "Peachy….that's just peachy….."

Quietly Gris spoke his first words in awhile, "I'll take care of it. She earned it today."

They all began to shuffle and make their way to the register. After settling up they walked outside. "Well, thanks for including me," said Brass. "Think I'll go home and get a shower now," he continued as he sniffed his sleeve. "And take my suit to the cleaners."

Grissom started for his car but spotted Glyn out of the corner of his eye. She was still standing in front, watching them all head for their cars. She was smiling.

"Need a ride?" he called.

"No, just savoring the experience," she answered. "See you tomorrow." With that she waived and walked toward her car.

I made it, thought Grissom as he climbed into his Denali. I made it through the shift. Maybe tomorrow will be easier. Sara's face once again came into his mind. And she smiled at him.


	6. Chapter 6

Glyn pulled into the lot at CSI. She'd been on the job a week and slowly was beginning to feel accepted. The Bobbitt case she had worked with Nick had wound down and they were just waiting for a court date. One of Brass's witnesses had gotten a good look at the woman running away from the room just before the vic had been discovered. The woman had been carrying a bundle in her arm. One of the fingerprints in the room turned up a match to a local prostitute and she fit the witness's description. Brass tracked her down. They found the bundle in her trash. Wrapped in the hotel towel they found a penis and a knife. As Nick retrieved the bundle and unwrapped it, Brass stood by with a sardonic smile. "Hey, guess she doesn't collect souvenirs," he quipped. The prints on the knife matched the whore's prints and the DNA from the penis was a match to the vic.

The woman's story was that the vic had picked her up just off the strip and taken her to his room. He'd told her that he was there to try to win back the money he'd lost in some cock fights. He had to win it back because if his wife found out, she'd be pissed. Brass rolled his eyes, "genius," was all he said. The guy said he wanted a blow job for luck and she agreed to do it. She said he looked 'kinda average' when she started to work on him but it was like he blew up when she got him in her mouth. "It was choking me," she cried. Nick ducked his head and looked at the table top to regain his control at her confession. "Anyway, the more I tried to pull away, the more he forced me…...Finally I bit him to make him let me up. Well, I musta bit harder than I thought cause when he yelped and let go, I pulled up and the thing was just hanging there."

Brass couldn't help it. Before he thought, the words were out of his mouth..."la vengeance du coq." His chest began to shake with the laughter that he was trying to control.

"Well," she continued, "I knew from watching the Discovery Channel that my DNA would be on his….you know, thing….I mean all my spit and stuff was there...so anyway, I carry a little knife with me, for protection, I used it to cut the damn thing off and get rid of the evidence." She looked expectantly at the faces around the table. "Well, it was kinda self defense you know, on a counta him choking me with his dick and all…. Don't ya think?" With her confession, everything fell into place quickly. Brass left the charges in the hands of the DA. "I mean, the woman did have a point." he told Grissom later.

Finally Glyn had been able to keep the names of all the lab rats straight yesterday, an accomplishment she knew they appreciated. She was terrible with names and she had gotten names wrong all week. She'd also met Doc Robbins on the Bobbitt case. He too would be interesting to work with. These thoughts were running through her head as she walked into the building and signed in.

"Good morning."

She turned to see Grissom standing behind her, almost shyly.

"I have a case for you," he continued. "The hospital called with a possible child molestation case. Think you are ready for it?"

"Yeah," sighed Glyn. "Sadly, we got a lot of those in Dallas. I'm familiar with the territory. But are you sure you're ready to send me out solo?"

"I thought about who to give this to and you're my best choice. Catherine goes way over the top on these cases. And the kids seem to respond better to women than to men, generally. And this one's a little girl….don't want to send a big, ugly guy to talk to her."

"Grissom, there isn't an ugly guy in this place," chuckled Glyn. "But I understand what you are saying. And I appreciate your thought and consideration…..thinking about what's easiest for the kid, I mean. Not everyone would do that. I'll head out now."

Grissom watched her walk away. Mmmmm, he mused to himself, I hope I don't have another woman that's going to go ballistic on these cases. Sara always was very emotional about these too. He hated cases where children were involved and he just couldn't imagine anything more evil. But their job was to keep a cool head and stay focused. He turned to head to the break room and check on the others. So far it was a quiet night. Maybe they would be able to catch up on paperwork. Paperwork, he sighed and silently hoped for an excuse to not do paperwork

Glyn walked into the hospital and located the little girl's room. She was only six and was so small and frightened. In Dallas Glyn had learned to keep Teddy Bears in her trunk for these cases. She had grabbed one as she'd gotten out of her car and carried it in her arm. When she entered the room, the little girl looked at her sadly and then looked away. Not unexpected. She had too many people in her life tonight, but at least they were trying to help her.

"Hi, sweetie. My name is Glyn. What's your name?"

"Sara," she said.

"Sara, do you have a last name?" Glyn asked gently.

"Morris." She hid her face in the pillow.

"Well, Sara, this is Wilbur. He's feeling very lonely and a little confused. He could really use a friend right now. Wanna be his friend?"

Sara shyly took the bear and held him close to her, nustling her face into his soft fur. "Don't worry Wilbur," she whispered. "I won't let anybody hurt you. I'll keep you here with me and we'll be friends. We'll be bestest friends." She held the bear tight.

"Sara, can you tell me what happened to you. The nurse said you had been hurt?"

"Uncle Kyle hurt me," she began to cry. She hugged the bear tighter and seemed to take some comfort in his softness. A quick assessment told Glyn that there was no doubt about whether it was molestation or not. She'd seen it too many times not to recognize what this little girl had suffered.

"Can you tell me where he hurt you?" Glyn asked gently.

"You're not supposed to talk about those parts. My Mommy used to tell me."

"Well, sweetie… I think it will be okay with Mommy if you tell me. We can't help the hurt if we don't know where it is."

"Mmmmm, okay….." and timidly she began to tell her story

It wasn't long before Grissom got a case. Judy brought a message from dispatch. There had been an accident on the interstate and CSI was requested.

"Did they say how big the accident is? And why can't the traffic guys handle it?" he asked.

"Fatalities," that's all I got from them. Judy exited.

Grissom walked down the hall, looking for his team. "Hey, Nick...Greg, you're with me. We've got a traffic accident to process….. Fatalities involved." They all grabbed their gear and headed out.

Sara finished her story and Glyn finished the SAE. She sat and chatted with little Sara for a few minutes about safe things to give her a chance to calm down. As Glyn got up to leave she touched Sara's hand. "I'm really glad to meet you, Sweetie. You are a very special little girl."

Sara looked up with huge brown eyes and smiled. "Can I keep Wilbur?" she asked.

"Of course, honey. He likes you so much better than he likes me. And I know you'll love him and make him happy."

As Glyn walked down the hall she fought back tears. These cases always hit hard but thankfully she had been able to keep her focus. But this one was especially bad. As she turned the corner to catch an elevator she bumped into Jim Brass.

"Hey...hey. Take it easy," he said gruffly before he realized who had run into him. "Oh, Glyn...why are you here?" his voice softened, "I didn't call for CSI."

"I'm here on another case."

"Hey...you've got tears. Case is that bad?" he asked.

"Yeah, a child molestation case….a six year old."

"Wow, yeah that is hard to take. ……..Look, I'm finished here. You want to grab a bite or some coffee?"

"That sounds really great but I have to get this evidence back to the lab….."

Jim studied her face. She really looked like she needed a friend but he wasn't sure how far to push. "Well, how about I meet you over there in an hour or so and we'll go find some food?"

She saw the concern in his eyes and appreciated it. Why not? She thought to herself. "That would be great. I could use a break. Thanks, Jim. I'll see in a few…."

They headed out. She headed to the lab and he had just thought of an errand he needed to run.

Grissom, Nick, and Greg arrived at the accident. Two cars were along the guard rail and there were three bodies. Traffic cops were standing nearby, protecting the scene and others were directing traffic away from the carnage. Nick and Greg walked immediately toward the cars as Grissom stopped to talk to the Officer in Charge. "What's the story?"

Officer Parks looked to his left, at the cars and swallowed. "Hit and run, I think. Two cars and three DBs. Looks like all three were out of their cars when it happened." He looked a few yards up the road and pointed. "Couple of witnesses over there. They didn't see the actual hit and run but were on the scene right after. They heard it. Said a car had blown by them just down the road...going really fast they said. The guy in the blue jacket admitted he was going 80 and the car went by so fast, he felt like he was standing still. Homicide should be here soon."

The EMTs were still hovering near the bodies so Grissom walked toward Nick and Greg. "What do you have so far?"

Greg began, "I've got paint transfer on both cars. Looks like both samples are from the same source but I'll check it out in the lab. No sign of skid marks anywhere."

Grissom thought he looked a little sick but decided not to comment. "Okay, well finish what you can with the cars here and then have them taken to the police lot. We'll go over them at CSI " He turned his gaze toward Nick with a question forming in his expression.

Nick, recognizing the look, started with his findings. "Greg's right...no sign of skids. Looks like both cars had pulled over to the side and were stopped. The front had a flat. Its registered to a Thelma Eaton and I think that's her on the ground. Rear car is registered to Jamaal Jenkins. I think these two guys stopped to help the lady with her tire and some jackass came barreling down the road and got all three of them."

"Okay, well keep looking."

"Sure thing, boss…" said Nick

Grissom walked to the bodies. The woman was halfway pinned between the two cars. She was battered all over but especially from the waist down. Her legs had almost been completely torn from her body. Her head must have hit one of the cars as she went down because it was badly damaged on one side. The two men seemed very young to Grissom, barely adults. One had been almost broken in half. The other had been badly mutilated, body parts strewn around. Grissom had seen some horrible sights in his time and dead bodies had long ceased to bother him, but the sight he was observing sickened him. What a waste, he thought.

"Hey Gris" David spoke from behind him. "I just got here. Wow," he said as he took in the carnage. "I'll let you know when I'm finished."

"Okay, thanks." Grissom was glad to be able to walk away from the bodies for a few minutes. The broken bodies reminded him of Sara...his lovely Sara, pinned under the car for so long. Suddenly he could here her voice again… "I knew you would come." He could feel her muddy fingers in his and hopelessness overwhelmed him. Yeah, he had come but not in time.

Grief tears his heart, and drives him to and fro

In all the raging impotence of woe.

I'm sorry Sara, he thought. I'm sorry I failed you. He ached with his whole being. He couldn't recall her face. That frightened him. I need to see you- I can't lose you again, he despaired. He remembered the time she wiped chalk from his face. He had been upset then too. He still didn't believe there had really been chalk on his cheek but her touch had brought him into focus. It also had startled him and he hadn't known how to react. You ass, he said to himself. You should have kissed her right then. You were a fool to have wasted so much time being afraid. Concentrate, he told himself. Remember her touch. Just then a wisp of a breeze brushed the side of his face and the panic subsided. "Thank you, my Sara," he whispered into the night.


	7. Chapter 7

Brass walked down the hall at CSI to find Glyn. She was in the DNA lab waiting for results from the rape kit, no doubt. As bad as some of his homicides had been over the years, he was glad that he rarely had to work these kinds of cases. He'd seen others do it regularly and understood the toll.

"Hi, Glyn. You ready to eat?" He was standing in the doorway.

She turned and smiled at him. "Yes, I am." She turned back to Wendy, "I'll check back with you after lunch. Thanks Wendy." And she walked toward Brass. "Lead the way."

They walked out of the building and toward his car. As they got in she asked "So, where are we eating?"

"Well, depends on what you like. You're not a vegetarian or something like that are you?"

"You kidding? I just spent the last 15 years in Texas. All that beef….its hard to be a vegetarian down there." She laughed.

Brass pulled into a parking space at his favorite sandwich shop. "This okay?"

"Sure, I trust you. Cops always know where the best food is."

Brass looked over at her and smiled. She was very easy to be with and also very easy on his eyes. Hmmm, he thought to himself, I wonder if…...no, don't go there. "Okay, he said "but first I have this" He shyly handed her a small green gift bag.

"What? Giving me presents, Capt. Brass?" she teased. "Is that in line with departmental regs?" She opened the bag and gently reached inside. It felt soft. Using her fingers, she pulled the object out. It was a tiny little stuffed heart. She looked into Brass's smiling eyes, not knowing what to think of his gift.

"You looked so heartbroken at the hospital" he said. "I...I just thought, well...you know...maybe you need a little re -enforcement." It hadn't occurred to him when he found the thing at the gift shop that hearts usually have a very different meaning.

She favored him with a very warm smile. "What a thoughtful thing to do. Having just moved here, I miss my friends from Dallas. Now I know I have at least one friend here. Thank you, Jim" She leaned over and gently kissed his cheek.

They sat at a table with their food. "Honestly, I hope this is okay, Glyn." Jim was feeling a bit nervous suddenly.

"Yeah. Its funny how you can travel all over the country and go into sandwich shops and order the exact same thing and have it fixed so differently." She sensed his nervousness and was trying to figure out why he was suddenly uncomfortable.

They chatted awhile about Vegas and he shared stories about some of the crazy cases that happen...only in Vegas. Then she began to talk a little about Dallas. As she talked, Jim watched her face. She had the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. They were a perfect match for her auburn hair. He guessed she was about 40, maybe a little older. Lines were beginning to form on her face but except for the laugh lines around her mouth, they were barely noticeable. Her lips were full of natural color and resembled the lips of cherubs. As she talked her expression was very animated. He felt himself being drawn to her…..no, no don't go there….put on the brakes buddy. He realized he hadn't really heard much of what she had said. But he hadn't enjoyed a conversation this much in a very long time. Trouble, he told himself.

For her part, she knew he wasn't hearing much of what she said but he seemed to want her to keep talking. As she talked, she too was studying her companion. She couldn't decide if he looked more like a Jersey mobster or a Marine recruit's worst DI nightmare. He had a square, bulldog kind of face that at the moment was quite friendly. His eyes were kind and gentle but there was a deep sadness in them and the lines on his face betrayed a lifetime of worry and sorrow. She felt that this man had been deeply wounded by people and by life. He seemed to be caught between hopelessness and anticipation. "So, my son is in Arlington and I moved here…." she concluded.

Surprised, Jim asked, "You have a son?"

Now she knew he hadn't been listening because she's mentioned her son several times. "Yes, he's 22 now and just out of school. He's a new recruit with the Arlington PD. Evan was very excited to be hired by that department because he will be able to work the Rangers games." She chuckled a little as she remembered his excitement at the prospect.

"Law enforcement's in the family." Brass smiled at her.

"Wasn't my idea. I just made him promise not to go to work with the more dangerous departments. Since his father's gone, he's all I have in the way of family."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd ever been married til now."

"Yeah, my husband died in an accident a few years ago. It was a very difficult time, as you can imagine, but I made it through and I'm okay now….What about you, Jim? You married?"

Jim's expression changed from inquiry to acrimony. "Am I not a man? And is not a man stupid? I'm a man. So I married. Wife, child, house, everything. The full catastrophe." Jim quipped. Her looked at her bemused face and continued, "Now divorced though."

"Full catastrophe?" Her face was a mixture of surprise and amusement. "Quote Jim Brass or….."

"Zorba," he finished. "Uhh….she didn't like my profession, well….the hours really. I kind of overdid it and wasn't around much. She got tired of waiting around and found entertainment elsewhere." Forlornness overtook his expression. It was obviously still a painful subject for him.

"I'm sorry Jim. I didn't mean to pry."

"Ancient history. That was back in New Jersey. I moved out here some time ago and my life is here now." He seemed to brighten a little.

"Guess I'd better get back to the lab before I get fired." she sighed.

"Oh, Gil wouldn't fire you. He used to work for me, so I know how to pull his stings." teased Jim.

As they headed back to CSI, Glyn was careful to keep the conversation light. She didn't want to rekindle sadness in his eyes. Jim was more relaxed than he had been earlier. Well, now she knows part of my sorry assed history, he thought. Maybe she doesn't think I'm too much of an ogre. Maybe….yeah , go ahead and think it. Maybe there is hope. Just maybe…. Yeah...right.

Grissom had finished going over the bodies at the scene and needed to get away from it. He found Nick, "You and Greg finish here and I'll see you back at the lab. Be sure the press doesn't get too close. I just saw the first reporter over by the tape. Oh, O'Brien got here a few minutes ago. He's talking to the witnesses now. He's the detective on this one."

"Okay, Greg and I are almost done here anyway. I'll talk to O'Brien before heading back."

Grissom headed for his truck. As he climbed in behind the wheel, he felt a surge of relief. He couldn't get away from here fast enough.

Wendy had confirmed little Sara's story with the DNA results. Glyn was on the phone with Detective Cavaliere explaining the results. He had brought Kyle Morris into the station and now the serious interrogation would begin.

"You want to be there?" he asked Glyn.

"No, I think you have everything you need. Has Child Services taken Sara into custody yet?"

"She's staying at the hospital overnight. That will give them time to place her. They aren't going to let her go back to her grandparent's house. There is another son living in the house also."

Glyn was glad to hear that Sara wouldn't be going back to the same house but hoped the child wouldn't end up in the system. "No other relatives?"

"Child Services can't find any. There's no information on her mother's family and her father was the oldest of the Morris kids. No other aunts or uncles. The poor kid has had a tough life...losing her parents and twin in that car accident and then living in a house with an abusive uncle."

"Yeah, maybe a miracle will happen and she'll catch a break. Well, okay then Cavaliere, let me know how it goes."

"Sure. And thanks."

Glyn really hoped there would be other relatives to take the child. She walked down the hall to find a quiet place to sit down and begin her report.

Grissom looked like a dangerous storm cloud as he walked into the lab. Everything about him was dark. Judy, the first to see him, hesitated before greeting him. He nodded in her direction and kept walking. Catherine spotted him as he turned the corner and went into his office. She saw the gloom in his face and intuitively knew the source. Following him inside, she closed his door.

"You don't look so good." she stated.

Grissom looked up and she could see that he was barely holding onto his emotions. And I've called him a robot for years, she thought. Well, still waters run deep they say.

"Ahhh, Cath. I...ah...it was a bad scene."

"A car accident, right?"

"Yeah...three vics. Hit and run…" his voice trailed off.

"Reminded you of Sara...under that car, right?"

He knew she wasn't going to leave it alone but he thought he'd try to deter her. "This was different. It was just really bad….blood and body parts and all."

"Yeah…..right….. Jeez, Gil, you've been at the grizzliest scenes imaginable and never blinked an eye. There's more to it…."

"Really, Cath, I'm okay."

Hmmmm, time to bring out the artillary , she thought. Here goes….

"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak,  
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break"

Grissom looked up as she spoke and his jaw fell open. "I'm ...stunned…." he uttered.

Catherine looked at his shocked expression. Anything was better than the dark gloom that was there just seconds ago. "Hey, you're not the only one that can read Shakespeare." she shrugged.

"Yeah, but you always look at me funny and roll your eyes when I quote the Bard. I didn't think you appreciated it."

"I decided that there must be something to the old guy since you are always rambling on with his stuff. So I read some. A bit stuffy….all that Old English …. And half of it makes no sense to me but, what the hell; some of it is pretty good." It was working. The clouds were beginning to recede from his eyes and his body was beginning to relax.

"Catherine," he began softly…. "It overwhelmed me. I could hear her voice from under the car and feels her muddy grip. It was like I was reliving it. I'd been kind of...numb the last few days and then, out there all the pain just came flooding back. Life is so empty without her but I can't keep looking for her to come through the door….or listening for her voice. I can't live like this. I feel like insanity is creeping in on me and I'm lost to it."

"It takes time, Gil. Slowly the pain will fade. Have you thought about talking to the company shrink?"

"No, actually you and Jim are the only ones I've been able share any of it with. I can't talk to the quack. It is just too personal to share with a stranger."

She reached over and touched his cheek, looking into his eyes. "Well, you know I'm always available to listen and I'm sure Jim feels the same. We are here for you. Don't try to handle this by yourself. It'll break you and that will break all of us."

"I know….I've never….well, you know...I'm not a people person. Sharing is difficult."

She smiled at him and pinched his cheek. "Okay, I know….well, guess we'd better get back to work…" She began to walk toward the door.

"Hey, Cath….." she turned to look at him quizzically. "Honest men esteem and value nothing so much in this world as a real friend. Such a one is as it were another self, to whom we impart our most secret thoughts, who partakes of our joy, and comforts us in our affliction…."

"Shakespeare?"

"No, from an old fable…." He smiled.

He watched her walk into the hall and then turned his attention to the case. After a few minutes, he heard Greg in the hall and decided to go see how his part of the investigation was going.

"Greg," he called as he entered the hallway. "Is the site cleared?"

"Almost, they were still sweeping debris up when I left. I caught a ride with O'Brien and Nick is coming back with the tow trucks. But I wanted to get started on the paint transfer. The witnesses told O'Brien that they think the speeder was driving a late model BMW. It was a dark color but they weren't sure which color since its night and all."

"Okay, well...let me know when you find out about the transfer."

"Sure thing." Greg headed into Trace and showed Hodges his evidence.

Grissom saw Glyn at the desk in the file room. He poked his head in the door. "How's your case?"

She looked up from her report. "Oh, you're back from your accident. Well, Cavaliere is interrogating the perp right now but I decided to sit it out. He had everything he needed to ask the right questions. It's going to be slam dunk, anyway. The grandmother caught him in the act and the little girl's story is the same as grandma's. And DNA confirms it was the uncle. This is a heartbreaker though….she's an orphan, her parents and twin sister were killed in a car wreck. No other family and Child Services is going to have to put her in Foster Care."

"Those cases are always tough. Sounds like you've covered all the bases though. Maybe a family member will show up…."

"Yeah maybe...Well, I'll try to get this report finished before I leave. I'd like to be able to go home and not think about it."

"Okay, good…..and thanks for taking this one…." He turned and headed back to his office. Good, he thought, she can handle these without loosing perspective.

"Grissom!" he heard O'Brien call him from behind.

"Yeah?" Grissom turned to face the detective.

"I'm headed over to talk to the families. We still haven't gotten an ID on the second male and I'm hoping the family can help. Want to come?"

"No, but take Greg. He's waiting on test results on the paint but he can follow up when he gets back."

"Okay, he can fill you in too."

Grissom's cell rang. It was Doc Robbins. "I finished the autopsies on your vics. Its pretty much what you'd expect. Internal injuries from the impacts. And of course, the one that was literally torn apart. Do you want me to send the report over?"

"Yeah, Doc. Thanks."

Back at his desk, Grissom tried to decide what was next. Nick was still working on the cars but he didn't really want to go near them. Shift was almost over but he hadn't heard back from O'Brien's meeting with the families. Grissom really wanted to go home. Maybe he could just hide in his office awhile longer until the shift ended. He'd never been so anxious to get away from work before. Usually he had to remind himself to go home. That had changed some when he and Sara… 'Sara', his heart ached as he thought of her. His eyes closed and she appeared in his mind. She was smiling….not her sweet Sara smile but an earthy, primal smile. The smile that said to him 'I need you….now.' The smile that awakened a strong, equally primal need deep within him, one that he was feeling even now. He could feel a spark leap into a flame as he thought of their last time together. Since they first got together, Sara had always been capable of creating heat within him with just the simplest touch of her lips or stroke of her hand. The raw intensity of their love making had been beyond anything he had ever imagined possible. But their last night together had been on a new plane. There were no words for what Grissom had felt on that night. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a familiar voice at the door.

"Hey, how's your day?" It was Brass at his door. He walked in and continued, "Thought you might be almost finished and we could go get some breakfast or something."

Grissom wondered if Cath had called him. This was an unusual invitation from Jim. But right now, he was grateful for it. "Cath call you?" he asked sarcastically.

"Noooo, is there a reason she should call me?"

"No, not really. Yeah, breakfast sounds good and I need to get away from here for awhile."

He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door with his friend.


	8. Chapter 8

The two men had settled in at their table and were waiting for service. Grissom had expected Jim to give him the 'how ya doing' routine but actually seemed a little pre-occupied.

"So what did you have last night?" he asked Jim.

"Paperwork mostly. And some follow-up from a case last week. Ran into Glyn at the hospital. Sounded like she had a rough one."

"Yeah, I was relieved that she handled it as well as she did," replied Grissom. "Catherine always goes over the top on those cases. But Glyn seemed to take it okay."

"Well, uh….I, uh….well we ate lunch together and she seemed okay then."

They were interrupted by the waitress and placed their orders. After she finished the conversation continued.

"You had lunch with her?" Grissom was surprised. Jim usually ate lunch at his desk.

"Yeah, at the hospital she seemed like she could use a break so I thought, what the hell…Thing is…. Well, I know it's a dumb idea but I was thinking of asking her on a date."

Wow, Grissom thought. Jim never talks about dating. His ex burned him so bad, Grissom wasn't even sure he liked women anymore. Oh, he'd show up at the 'office parties' or departmental functions with a real looker on his arm but never seemed too interested in them and never the same one twice. Gil suspected Jim was hiring high class call girls, 'escorts', for the evenings, partly to avoid coming stag and partly to silently thumb his nose at office politics. And here he is talking to me about asking Glyn out. ME? "You asking permission to date my CSI?" Grissom quipped.

"Yeah, Papa Bear, Don't want you greeting me on the front steps with a sawed off in your hands." The two men shared a smile at the image of Gil Grissom chasing off the ardent suitor, Jim Brass, with a shot gun in hand. "But seriously, what do you think….I mean, is it as dumb as it sounds to me….why would a gorgeous gal like her go out with a bum like me?"

"Well, Jim…..I'm not sure I'm the guy to talk to here. I mean….I don't have a good track record here. But you know, I wasted years before I found the courage to reach out to Sara and those could have been really great years. I can't get them back. If you think there's a connection between you and Glyn, do something about it. Don't be a fool like I was."

"I ….gosh, this personal stuff is hard….she isn't like… well, she's different...not a bimbo or anything. I mean, she's easy to talk with. You known it's been such a long time since a woman...well, you know, since I've felt this way….But there's no way she's going to want any part of me."

"Haven't had much of a chance to get to know her. Actually, its my fault. I can't quit thinking about her as Sara's replacement. Its getting better but…..anyway, I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt; maybe you should too."

"She's okay, Gil. But I can understand its hard for you. Give it time."

"Everybody keeps telling me that. Sometimes I'm not sure. But I want to put it behind me...not Sara, I'll always love her. But I need to get past the pain. I need to be me again."

As Jim listened to his friend he thought how much he had changed. He wasn't sure what 'me' Gil wanted to be again but Jim suspected that his friend was forever changed by his love and loss of Sara. "Well, don't know if it helps any but you seem to be doing better now then when you first came back. Just give yourself time, Gil. What's that old saying, 'time heals all wounds'?

Gil looked at his friend and thought about how much Jim had been through. Maybe he knew what he was talking about. Gil sure hoped so.

Grissom made his way back to the lab. He wanted to check on Nick's progress and see what O'Brien and Greg had been able to find out. Nick was in the garage. "Oh, hey boss. Just finishing up. I'll get it all written up but basically the speeding car must have caught the rear fender of the Camero that the guys were driving. That knocked the front of the car into the rear of Thelma Eaton's Pontiac. Then the BMW scraped along the side of both cars. Mrs. Eaton was caught between the two cars and the two guys were knocked down by the impact and then run over as the BMW ran up the side of the cars. The damage would have been bad under any circs but with the increased speed of the BMW, it was devastating. What I don't get is how the driver couldn't have felt it all. I mean, he had to have known he'd hit the cars and probably the people too. This is just wrong, wrong in so many ways."

"Yeah…." Gris said as he looked at the cars. "Let's just solve it so the families can at least have closure and the jackass goes to jail."

Grissom was finally heading out to go home when Greg called to him in the parking lot. "Hey, Grissom," panted Greg. "Wanted to let you know…." again gasping for breath, "Jenkins family says the other guy has to be Ricky Rodriguez. They've been friends since Kindergarten and are always together. The second vic was Hispanic, so it fits. O'Brien is with the Rodriguez family now."

"Any connection between them and Thelma Eaton?"

"No," he was finally catching his breath, "but the Jenkins family said the two boys were always going out of their way to be helpful and if they saw her on the side of the road with a flat they would've stopped."

"Okay, Greg. Shift's over. Go home and get some rest and be ready to tackle it tomorrow."

Grissom climbed into his truck and hastily made his way out of the lot. He didn't really want to go home to be at the mercy of memories but he needed to check on Bruno. He decided he'd walk Bruno and then head for bed. He was tired enough that he thought he might be able to sleep. One good thing about having a large dog was that it provided warmth on the other side of the bed. Bruno wasn't Sara but at least he was some company.

Glyn was curled in her favorite chair watching a movie and eating popcorn when her phone rang. "Hello.."

"Uh….Glyn?" the voice asked on the other end.

"Yes, this is Glyn…."

"Bra..uh, its Jim. I, uh… well…"

"Jim?" Glyn was surprised that he called and even more surprised at his apparent inability to talk.

"Yeah, uh….. Look I was wondering, I mean….well, if you don't have plans for the day….well, I mean, would you like to go to a movie or something?" Jim was nervous and the silence on the other end of the call wasn't helping.

Glyn, sitting there in her grubbies, hadn't contemplated getting out again til tomorrow. "Jim, you've caught me off guard," she replied. Damn, might as well be honest she thought. "I'm kind of settled in and curled up with popcorn and a movie here."

"Oh, ah well, okay. Maybe another time then?" Even he recognized how disappointed he sounded. Damn, he thought, you're pathetic.

"I have a better idea….why don't you run by that sandwich shop and pick up some food to go, you know what I like, and come over? We can watch a movie here."

"Ah….okay….is there a movie you'd like to see? I can go by and rent a movie or two on my way over."

"I've got a stack," she laughed. "NetFlix and I are good friends. There might even be one or two that you'll enjoy. So how long do I have to change from a pumpkin to a fairy princess?"

"Half hour….is that long enough? But you can stay a pumpkin, I mean, I'm sure you're a gorgeous pumpkin." He couldn't believe he said that….how lame could he be…...Doofus! Laughter erupted on the other end of the line.

"Okay, I'll stay a pumpkin, then. Thanks. I'll see you soon."

Jim couldn't believe it. That went so much better than he had hoped and she even overlooked his bumbling. He tore into his closet looking for a fresh shirt. Needs to be casual, he thought. She won't be impressed if she's in her grubbies and you show up in designer wear. Oh hell, he thought. I didn't get her address. Swallow pal, he told himself. Do you call her back? No, hey you're a police detective. Do some detecting!

Jim found her place and had knocked on the door. He mentally arranged himself and tried to stay calm. Breathe, he told himself. Man, I feel like I'm in high school again. The door opened and she was standing there, smiling. Jim Brass's heart melted at the sight of her. She was indeed a beautiful pumpkin. He was falling and falling fast. He just hoped he would recover from the inevitable thud at the bottom.

Her eyes savored the man before her. His fire plug stature camouflaged the muscle that she suspected was concealed beneath his shirt. Something within her leapt as her mind contemplated proving her theory. "Jim, come in….." He slid past her and she turned to follow him into her house. Without his suit jacket, Glyn developed a new appreciation for his European cut slacks, defining a nice ass that no man subject to the middle age spread would be expected to still possess. As he reached the middle of her living room and turned to face her, she realized that his slacks exemplified another of his attributes.

Jim swallowed hard noticing her eyeballing him. "I brought the same kind of sandwich you had at lunch. Seemed wrong but I didn't know what else to do, " he said quietly, simultaneously wondering if he wasn't already screwed by getting a woody the minute he saw her.

"That's great. Unless you're hungry now why don't we wait to eat though? I'm not really hungry right now but I know I'll be later."

"That's fine," he said as she took the food from him and turned to walk to the kitchen. As he watched her he was forced to recognize that he wasn't hungry right now either, at least not for food.

She asked him to make a choice from the stack and he pulled out a Harrison Ford movie, the one where he was President, but he really didn't care what they watched. He had a feeling he wouldn't be concentrating on the movie anyway. She put it in the DVD player and settled in on the sofa. He was careful to sit down close but not too close to her. Damn, where do I put my hands, he thought. He didn't want to sit there with his hands in his lap like a kid waiting to see the principal. But he didn't want to seem too familiar either. As the movie began tried to watch but was intensely aware of her presence next to him….her smell, her movements, even her breathing. As the movie continued, she very slowly eased her way in his direction until he felt her against his arm. Hmmmm, now what? he thought. He lifted his arm behind her, resting it along the back of the sofa and she nestled into his side, resting her head against his shoulder. Jim sat, stunned. What do I do now? He wondered. Fear paralyzed him. All he could do was try to control his breathing.

Glyn was enjoying this. Several men had pursued her after her husband had died but she had quickly grasped what their only interest was. She wasn't interested in a meaningless fling. But Jim seemed genuine. She hadn't seen a guy this nervous about approaching her since her first week of college when her future husband asked her out. Jim really was kind of cute with it. She'd begun to think of him as a teddy bear, which made him seem vulnerable. . But this was too much fun and she was going to tease him a little while longer. Didn't want to be cruel though. She sensed that his feelings were tender and calling her had been a big deal to him. However, she couldn't deny herself a little fun.

After a few minutes, Jim let his hand slip off the back of the sofa and onto her shoulder. God, he thought, this is torture. I feel like I'm sixteen again and going to unload in my drawers. But I'll never know what she feels about me if I don't try. Don't be so afraid. But he was afraid…..afraid he might screw the whole thing up.

She snuggled her head on his shoulder, just to let him know that his touch was welcome. He turned his head ever so slightly to peek at her face only to get caught. She was looking up at him, straight into his brown eyes. They seemed to be twinkling and fearful simultaneously. She also saw his desire and somewhere deep within her felt a stir that she hadn't felt in a very long time. Neither was sure who initiated it, but they found themselves locked in a kiss. It was slow and gentle at first and then more insistent as each became more confident. Slowly they pulled away and she rested her head again against his shoulder. Jim's arm found its way down, around her waist and he pulled her closer to him. The movie was ending and they were content to sit there as the credits rolled down the screen. His lips found the top of her head as he gently kissed her there and then rested his head. He couldn't remember when he's ever felt so happy or content in a moment. He wished they could just stay there, his arm around her and the heat of her body spreading over his side and across his chest. She felt safe and warm and content in his embrace. Her hand found its way around to his chest and rested there, over his heart. Slowly, peacefully, they drifted to sleep.

A few hours later Jim woke up to a numb arm. Her breathing was steady, indicating that she was still asleep. But he needed to move his arm. First he nuzzled his lips against her head. She began to stir. Her face turned toward his and blessed him with a smile. Her face moved closer to his as her eyes invited him. Her hand inched its way up and behind his head and encouraged him closer. He closed his eyes as his lips found hers and he lost himself in the warmth of her mouth. After a long, satisfying and promise filled kiss, he inched away. "…..uh...well, Glyn, I don't want this to be an office romance that's over before it gets started. I mean, I'm not sure what it is, exactly…..right now…..but, at least for me, it feels like it could be something special. I don't want to botch it before we have a chance to see….."

"Do you really believe we'd be sitting here now if I thought all you wanted was a fling? You are a special man, Jim Brass, and I want to know you better. We'll take our time and build on tonight." She stroked the side of his face with the back of her fingers as she spoke. He placed his hand over hers and brought it around to his lips and kissed them. Pleasure at his touch was obvious in her countenance and Jim's heart swelled until he thought it might explode."

"Let's check out those sandwiches," she said, "suddenly I'm hungry."

"Yeah, and then I should go before I lose my resolve to be a good boy," Jim jested.


	9. Chapter 9

Want to use this space to correct an error. Brass's eyes were described as brown based info from the CSI website. An avid P. Guilfoyle fan has assured me, however, that he really has blue eyes. I gleefully stand corrected. What can I say, Guilfoyle and Jim Brass are the best kept secrets of the show's success. Knowing he has blue eyes...it just keeps getting better and better.

Grissom woke to the sound of his cell. Groggy, he fumbled around his nightstand to find it. "Grissom," he growled when he finally answered it.

"Sorry to wake you, Grissom. But we need you back at the lab ASAP."

"Sheriff?"

"Yes, all hell is breaking lose on that hit and run. I need you here!" The phone went silent.

Grissom stumbled around as he tried to gather himself. He let Bruno out while he grabbed a quick shower and got dressed. After getting Bruno taken care of, he slipped into his shoes and headed out the door. Once he settled into the seat of his truck, he looked at the clock. The green glow of the face told him he'd only had about three hours sleep. No wonder he felt so bone weary.

He dragged into the building and located the sheriff. He was surrounded by Ecklie, O'Brien, and an ADA that Grissom recognized but couldn't think of the guy's name. "You rang?" he gibed. He knew he sounded sarcastic but he was too tired to care.

"Grissom, glad you could make it," taunted Ecklie.

"So what has happened?" Grissom asked.

"We have a suspect in custody," said the Sheriff.

"Really? How'd that happen?"

"He turned himself in to us," answered the ADA.

Grissom was confused. "So, he turned himself in, which I guess means he confessed. So why am I here…..hours before I'm scheduled."

"I want to nail this bastard." replied the ADA. "Once you hear his story, you will too."

Ecklie picked up the story, "Thing is Gil, he's a defensive back for the Dallas Cowboys. He's here with some team mates for the a pre-camp party. The press is going to be all over this story."

"Does the fact that he's a pro football player make him less guilty? Gil asked in disgust.

"No, it doesn't," the ADA jumped in. "We need to get this guy in the press. We need to make him the most hated individual in the country. I need your to help. I don't want to present the case in the press but I do want to counter any stories his people might float. Right now he's saying he wasn't speeding and was sober. Let's start there. And then we'll move on the rest. Can you prove he had to know he'd run over those people?"

"Without knowing his blood alcohol at the time of the accident or knowing if drugs were present, I doubt we could prove things either way. Let's have the blood drawn and worked up. Depending on how much was in his system, there might be some still present. Meanwhile we'll get to work on the evidence from the scene. We'll need his car. Get a warrant for it and have it towed here as soon as you can."

"You know what really pisses me about this," said the Sheriff. "His first phone call was to his agent. The agent called his lawyer. Then the lawyer called the team office. Only then did anyone think to call the police." Grissom hated to do it but he pulled out his cell and called Nick and Greg. It was going to be a long shift.

By evening the story was all over the news. The jock, it turned out was a bench warmer….the very last seat on the bench, as a matter of fact. The press had found the families of the victims and was running their bios. Jamaal Jenkins and Ricky Rodriguez became instant heroes. The story of their lifetime friendship and their desire to help others seemed to be the center of the story. People were coming forward with stories of little acts of kindness the boys had performed since childhood. Thelma Eaton was presented as everybody's favorite grandmother, a kindly old lady that had been fortunate enough to receive an offer of help from the young men. As the story grew, the suspect became more and more evil.

By the time the rest of the shift arrived at their regular time, the evidence against the suspect was well organized. They were waiting for the blood test results but Nick and Greg had finished the cars. In the meantime, every available detective and a few uniforms were scouring the bars and clubs, interviewing customers and bartenders….looking for evidence that the suspect been drinking, drinking heavily. With Hodges help the paint transfer had been matched to the suspect's car and the tire treads of the BMW had been matched to tread marks on one of the vics. Grissom was pleased with the teamwork. "Nick, Greg," he said as they gathered for the night's assignments, "its looking like a light night and you've already pulled a long shift today. Head home. And guys….good job!"

Cath, Glyn, and Warrick were still there. Glyn, do I have your report from last night?"

"Yes, its on your desk."

"Okay, thanks," he looked at Warrick. " You've got a B&E," Grissom said as he handed over the slip. As Warrick left, Grissom looked at the other two, "Ladies, you're invited to help me with my case review, unless you have other work to do."

Catherine wanted nothing to do with his reviews and was quick with an answer. "Actually, Gil, there's a stack of files in the file room and I was hoping you'd let Glyn help me get them out of the way."

Grissom knew he was outnumbered. "By all means," he capitulated.

Grissom left to get to work on his pile of files and the two women walked to the file room. "Whew, wasn't sure he was going to let me get away with that," commented Catherine.

"Paperwork doesn't seem to agree with him," said Glyn. "My guess is he has no ambition for a management role."

"Got that right. Being the Night Supervisor is about all he can handle. After Brass got kicked back to Homicide, Gil ran the whole lab for awhile. It drove him nuts."

"Wait, Jim used to be in charge here?"

"Long story. Everybody thought he was about to get a promotion to deputy sheriff and would be leaving anyway. But then Holly Gribbs got killed and Brass ended up with mud all over him. He took responsibility because it was his people involved but it was a huge mess. Gil had to fight to keep Warrick from being steam rolled and that's when Sara came to work here."

"Holly Gribbs?"

"A CSI. She was killed right after she started to work here."

"How'd that happen?"

"She was processing a scene and the killer came back. I felt really bad because she'd gotten upset her first night and wanted to quit. Said she'd only gotten into forensics because her mother had encouraged her to. Said she wasn't cut out for it. Anyway, I convinced her to give it a chance."

"You were just trying to help her get over the jitters. You couldn't have known what was going to happen."

"Yeah, but I still feel guilty about it. We all do."

Glyn was curious to know more about Brass's part in all of it but didn't want to press too hard. She tried to think of a way to ask but couldn't formulate a question that didn't sound overly nosey. Cath was in a mood to talk though, so she didn't have to wait long for more.

"Yeah, Jim got the shaft on that one. Boy, was he pissed too. I've never seen him so angry. It took him a long time to get over it."

"Well, I guess…. I mean if he lost a promotion and then got sent back to Homicide….well, I guess I can see where he'd be angry."

"Yeah, he was a real ass for awhile. Poor guy just can't catch a break."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, first he was in the middle of a big corruption scandal back in Jersey; investigated corruption in his department….in the middle of all that he found out his wife was screwing around on him. So he waited til the investigation ended, dumped the wife, and moved out here. He has a daughter and I know it was tough on him leaving her. Things were going pretty good for awhile. Then there was the thing with Holly. Just as it seemed he was getting fine with the transfer to Homicide, his daughter showed up. What a mess. Turns out she's into drugs and that whole scene. It breaks his heart every time he sees her but he keeps trying.

Then he was involved in a shootout and a uniform got shot by friendly fire. It was Jim's bullet. I thought he was going to break at that point. I've never seen him so low. Then last year HE got shot and we almost lost him."

"Wow, he has had a rough time." Glyn couldn't believe all that she's just heard. She had guessed that life had not been kind to him but …..she was having difficulty absorbing it all.

The two women continued to work and chatted, mostly about everyday things. Glyn was struggling to stay with the conversation as she thought about this new information. No wonder he had such sadness in his eyes. She was determined not to feel pity though. Jim was not the kind of man that would accept pity. But she couldn't help but marvel at the strength he possessed. Most people would have cracked.

The night was a quiet one. Warrick had come back with prints and some foot impressions. He was processing those. Cath and Glyn finished their chore and Glyn went to help Warrick. Catherine made her way to Grissom's office. He had fallen asleep over the files. She tried to make some noise to wake him but he didn't stir. "Gil," she said. Not a twitch. "Gil," she said louder. His head moved a little but that was it. "Gil!" she exclaimed. He lifted his head and glared at her.

"You're drooling on the files."

"Oh, I feel asleep I guess." he tried to straighten things but just seemed to be making a bigger mess.

"Go home, Gil." Catherine commanded.

Grissom looked around. His eyes had difficulty focusing. "Yeah, I think I will. You can be in charge." Suddenly a thought flashed into his brain. "See what you can do about these files, will you….please." He picked up his jacket and headed for the door.

Catherine couldn't believe she didn't see that coming. Oh well, she thought.

"Thanks," he said as he walked out.


	10. Chapter 10

As Catherine watched him walk away she remembered the first couple of weeks after Sara's death. When they had finally gotten Sara out from under the car, Gil had stood and watched as the paramedics went to work. They arrived at the hospital behind the ambulance and Grissom had pushed his way into the exam room. He stood in the back, next to the wall. He was afraid to move any closer….to acknowledge the truth of his greatest fear. Sara was already gone. His gaze took in even the smallest details as the doctors and nurses went over her body, looking for hope. But she had been pinned under the car for too long. She was pronounced 10 short minutes after arriving at the hospital. Grissom never moved. He just stood there, arms crossed and staring at her as if willing her to live. The doctors left and the nurses began to clean up. Someone called for transport to the morgue. It was a homicide….an autopsy had to be performed. Still, Grissom stood there. Jim entered the room and tried to lead him out. "No!" Grissom had cried out. "I'm not leaving her." Finally Doc Robbins was able to convince him to wait in the hall. Catherine had never been sure when Doc had arrived but she was glad he was there. Grissom had stood guard outside her door until the stretcher came to take her away. It was then that his fears consumed him and Grissom dissolved. His back slid down the wall as he fell to the floor. Dazed and lost, he became a bewildered boy. At Doc's prompting Jim and Nick had helped him up and led him to Jim's car. Doc had scribbled a prescription and handed it to Warrick to have it filled. Greg went with him. We'll all meet at his place, Doc had said. It's best if he is in familiar surroundings.

At Grissom's townhouse, Jim and Nick had led him to the shower. He followed Jim's commands obediently…."lift your right leg, Gil...now your left," Jim had instructed as they undressed him. After a quick shower the process was repeated in reverse. Nick was sobbing by now. Seeing his mentor, his friend….his second father in this condition was crushing him. Warwick showed up with the meds and Gil had quietly accepted them. He hadn't spoken, hadn't moved unless commanded, and as far as Catherine could tell, hadn't blinked since his outburst at the hospital. Grissom had a knack for recording details of a scene in his mind. Catherine was convinced that he was replaying the scene over and over as he sat staring blankly in front of him. Doc, Cath, and Jim had consulted quickly in the corner. They would all take turns, watching Gil in shifts to be sure he was okay for the next few days. What the three conspirators didn't share with Nick, Warrick, and Greg was that Doc was concerned about suicide. It wasn't in Gil's nature to consider it...in fact, he considered it selfish and cowardly. But Gil wasn't thinking like himself…...if he was thinking at all. For three days Gil slept. They would wake him occasionally and help him eat….like a child. He didn't seem to be aware of anything that was happening.

The group gathered on the third night to discuss funeral arrangements. Gil was sitting on his sofa while Catherine helped him eat. His body was in the room but his mind was in hell. "Well, what kind of service should she have?" asked Doc. "Did she have a church home?"

"I don't think so…." replied Nick.

"So, service at the funeral home?" asked Cath.

"What about a minister?'" asked Greg.

"She didn't believe in God," Gil had whispered. His eyes blinked as they met Cath's. "She didn't…." and then he receded back into hell as his gaze fixed again.

"Well," Doc said, "that's good….I mean that he came out of it of even for a second. He's trying to find his way back."

They had decided on something more like a memorial service with eulogies and remembrances but not religious in nature. It was then that Nick spoke up, " okay, well, I'm going to handle this."

The small group was stunned. Jim eased Nick to the kitchen, "Nick are you sure you want to so this? I mean ….after your ...well being buried a couple years ago…. Wouldn't you rather have one of us handle it?"

Tears had welled up in Nick's eyes. "Jim, I need to do this….for Sara….but mostly for him," he said as he nodded in Gil's direction. It's the kind of thing a son does for his father. And I need to do it."

"Okay, but if it gets too tough, call me. Promise?"

"Yeah Jim, I promise."

As the days passed, Gil began to have more lucid moments. He would emerge from his private hell to look around - looking for Sara, they all thought. After a few minutes he would fade away again. He never spoke. He never acknowledged their presence.

Gil's condition had scared Greg most of all. From his point of view, Grissom had always seemed so strong, impervious to everything. The others had known Grissom long enough and seen him at heartbreaking scenes enough to understand that often his detached demeanor was the armor he wore to protect himself from the havoc he encountered daily in his job. The loss of Sara was more havoc than his armor could withstand. Since he was the most disturbed by their new ritual of 'the Grissom watch,' Greg was the first released from the duty. Warrick and Nick soon followed, leaving the three conspirators form the first night. Doc talked to Cath and Jim, "Now is when we really begin to worry about suicide. He'll come out of it soon and the reality will set in. He can't be left alone. Can either of you stay with him?" The choice was obvious. Jim took two weeks leave and moved into Gil's place. Cath came by daily to give him a break. Jim's second night there, Gil had awakened, "Brass, why are you in my house?" he had asked.

"Its okay, Gil. I'm here til you are feeling better."

"I'm not used to people in my house and I feel fine."

"Yeah, well, you've had a rough few days and Doc thought I should stay."

"Where's Sara? Why isn't she here?"

"Gil, you don't remember?"

"What?"

" The Miniature Killer, Natalie,…..Sara went missing."

Gil cocked his head and blinked…..it was then that Jim saw it register in his face. "She's dead," Gil said flatly.

"Yes, Gil, "I'm sorry, she is.

"Where is she?"

"I think they are moving her to the funeral home today. The funeral is set for Friday."

"Funeral?"

" More like a memorial service, actually. Nick's handling all those arrangements."

"Nick?"

"Yeah, he said he wanted to do it."

"Nick, he's ...he picked out a casket?"

"Yeah, Gil. He did."

"Why Nick"

"He said that he wanted to...that it was what a son does for a father…."

"Oh,"

"You need anything, Gil. You hungry?"

"No." He began to walk around the house. He stopped at various places, studying the contents of his shelves, moving objects, rearranging books until he stopped and picked up a picture of Sara. The he sat on his couch and held the picture close to him and waited for his longest night to end.

The next day, Grissom had gotten away from Jim. Bruno was barking and Gil yelled at Jim, who was in the shower, that he was taking Bruno out. Jim hurried to finish his shower but Gil had disappeared. As he finished dressing, Bruno showed up at the door. The dog was clearly agitated. "Shit," Jim declared as he grabbed the dog's lead and headed out. "Where is he Bruno? Where's Gil?" Jim hadn't really expected the dog to understand but Bruno pulled him down the street and around the corner. Jim found Gil sitting on a bench.

Gil stared ahead. "I couldn't do it, Jim."

Jim sat next to him. "Do what?"

"End it."

It was then that Jim saw Gil's gun. He was holding it next to him, resting his hand on the bench. "End what, Gil?"

"The pain….the dark….I thought if I ……" he looked down at the gun and slowly lifted it. He scrutinized the weapon, turning it over in his hand. "It is easy to go down into hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air—there's the rub, the task." Then he looked at Jim. "Keep this for awhile; " he said. "I want the darkness to end, Jim."

Jim gingerly took the pistol from him. "It will, Gil. Little by little….it will.

Somehow Gil had pulled himself together for the funeral. Jim and Cath had walked into the room on either side of him, supporting and protecting him. They sat in the front, Gil's eyes staring straight ahead, never moving. He couldn't look at the casket. Ecklie approached. "Gil, I'm soooo sorry," he oozed. "I know how close you were to Sara."

Jim stood between Ecklie and his friend. "Let's talk over here," he said as he led Ecklie away, his hand on Ecklie's elbow. They reached the back corner of the room and Jim turned to face him. "Let me tell you something." he began in a very low but dangerous voice. "You're going to put your head back in your ass and shut up. You're going to sit as far away from Gil as you can get and when this is over, you're going to be the first one out. Do you understand me?" Ecklie was shocked by Brass's vehemence and retreated.

The service had been short, followed by an even shorter one at the graveside. As it concluded, Gil produced a single red rosebud, just beginning to open into a full blossom. No one knew how he had it in his possession but there is was, like magic. He eased toward the casket and placed it carefully on the top, where's Sara's heart rested inside. Slowly he bent, his face close to the head and whispered. His message was simple and for her only. No one else heard him as he murmured, "I'll always love you."

He didn't speak as the trio rode back to his place. Once inside he sat on the couch and quietly revealed his thoughts:

Do not restrain, but put forth all thy strength.  
Thou hast at length arrived at Purgatory;  
See there the cliff that closes it around;  
See there the entrance, where it seems disjoined.

And finally, he allowed himself the tears that had not yet been shed.

Later, Catherine asked Jim if he knew the quote, "Shakespeare?"

"I don't think so…Dante, maybe."


	11. Chapter 11

Her shift ended and Glyn headed for her car. As she approached she saw a familiar figure standing there. "Jim?" she smiled as she called to him.

"I uh…..I didn't want to disturb you at work," he said.

"You have a reason for waiting here by my car?" she teased.

Jim had a reason but he wasn't sure if he should share it. He didn't want to scare her away. But he decided to just play it straight. "Well, I…..um, I couldn't stop thinking about you all day and I just wanted to see you."

She leaned toward him, her lips seeking his. Unlike their kisses at her place, this kiss had serious heat in it. Jim didn't understand where her passion was coming from but he responded in kind.

Catherine, walking to her car, witnessed their embrace and stopped. Warrick was walking behind her and when she stopped, he nearly bumped into her. "Whaaat?" he asked and then he followed Catherine's gaze. "Wow, nice." he declared. "Come on," Catherine, "give them some space. You can grill her tomorrow."

"Yeah…..all right," she said, still stunned. "But she sure is a quick worker."

Glyn and Jim heard the cars leaving but were too involved in each other to care.

"So, what brought that on?" Jim asked when she finally separated. His eyes were glowing, his happiness spilling out of them. "I've never had a nicer surprise."

She didn't want to tell him that Catherine had filled her in on his story. She thought that he should be allowed to share it as he was ready. So she kept it simple. "Dunno, just have been thinking about you and a lot of energy had built up. It's all you fault, you know. Yesterday was the sweetest non date I've ever had," she smiled.

Warmth begin to grow in Jim. So many emotions flooded him that he couldn't really recognize what he was feeling; except that he thought that maybe this was joy. He returned her smile and couldn't really think of anything to say. He just stood there, looking into her face and seeing a possible future. A future that included happiness, something he'd given up on long ago.

"Besides the casinos, what so people do for fun around here?" she asked.

"Fun? Uh…..well, there's the lake. And there's museums, and well, let me think….besides the casinos? How about a show? A lot of tourists like to experience Freemont….."

"Got any good parks? I really don't want to share you with the rest of Vegas today. I mean, if you want to….well, you might already have plans."

"You're kidding me, right? A beautiful woman asks a man to spend the day with her. He'd be a fool to have anything planned other than holding hands and gazing into her eyes." God that was sappy, he thought.

"When's the last time you were on a picnic?"

"I'll pick you up ….when?" he asked.

"Give me an hour. Can you pick up the drinks?"

"Drinks? Yeah….. Ah , what do ……"

"Well, my guess is you like beer. I'm more of a soda person; alcohol really doesn't work for me. But get beer for you, if that's what you want."

"I think I'll stick with soda," he said. "Right now you're the only fuel my fire can handle."

He kissed her quickly and headed to his car. This is a dream, he thought. And I'm going to wake up soon.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Catherine couldn't believe what she'd just witnessed in the parking lot. While Jim wasn't a loner in the Gil Grissom mold, she knew he kept to himself. Glyn didn't seem like the temptress type, so how and when had these two gotten together, she wondered. And just how together were they? And, oh boy, what did Glyn think of him after everything she'd heard in the file room? Catherine, you need to learn to keep your mouth shut, she thought. You better not have messed things up for Jim. Catherine liked Glyn and Jim was like family. She might be good for him. He deserved to have something good in his life. Catherine decided that she would do anything she could to help this thing along. Right now though, she told herself, just keep your big mouth shut.

Warrick wasn't one to pry and he figured Brass's business was his own. He liked what he'd seen of Glyn and he too thought perhaps she could bring some sunshine into Brass's life. God knows, the man deserves it, he thought. He didn't really give the budding romance much more thought. He was hoping Tina would have some time today. He really was trying to spend more time with her. He had fallen for her big but then proceeded to screw it up. Things were improving and he wanted to keep it that way.

-----------------------------

Jim ran home to change. As he entered his house, his inner doubts took hold. What are you doing? He asked himself. You dumb jerk, she's too good for you and you know it. She's beautiful and full of life and you're...you're a washed out, stupid, empty old fool. What the hell are you doing? This will end badly; you know it will. You're too old and not good enough for her. End this asshole, before you end up in the bottom of a bottle again. Yeah, that's it. Go over there and end it today. But something wouldn't let him give up and he gave into that, certain that he was headed for disaster.

He picked out his favorite tropical shirt and a casual pair of slacks. He dug a cooler out of the back of his closet and headed for the store. After filling the cooler with drinks and ice, he headed to Glyn's. By the time he was pulling into her drive, hope had begun to grow again. He wouldn't end it. He knew he was in way over his head but it was too late. In for a penny; in for a pound' he thought to himself. She opened the door with an amused expression.

"Jim, you're 15 minutes early," she chuckled.

"Yeah, it didn't take as long as I thought….to get changed and all, I mean. You ready or can I help you get ready?"

"Jim, the food's over there. All I have to do is get changed and if you try to help me with that, well….we won't make it to the picnic," she teased as she walked back to change.

Jim had to force himself to stay where he was. He wanted to follow her but he knew that was a bad idea. Whoa partner, he thought. She emerged a few minutes later dressed in capris and a top. The top was a deep green that complimented her hair and eyes and made her skin glow. Ohhh Jim, he thought. You're going to have a frustrating afternoon.

They had finished the picnic and were walking in the park, holding hands. Like teenagers, he thought. As they passed a tree he turned and leaned her back into the trunk. He traced he cheek with his thumb as his eyes drank in her features. He was still in a daze. This lovely woman seemed to be interested in him. He didn't understand why and he knew he didn't deserve her but he silently thanked whatever forces were at work on his behalf. Slowly, gently his mouth sought hers. His hand traced her jaw, found its way behind her neck and his fingers gently massaged her nape as his tongue explored her mouth. Their tongues teased and tortured one another as the owners lost themselves in the swirl of the rising heat. Glyn was more surprised by her own response than she was by Jim's. She hadn't felt it in such a long time that she had thought that part of her life was over. Suddenly here she was overwhelmed with the fire growing within her. Desire rose in her until she wasn't sure she could keep it under control. She knew that she didn't want to. She eased out of his embrace and fought for control. Her hand was on the side of his face, her fingers sliding behind his ear. "Jim. I think we should go back to my place….or yours, if it closer." She spoke barely above a whisper.

Jim was sure he had somehow ruined it already. Had he pushed too far? Was something wrong? He was confused. "Are you okay? I…… did I..I didn't mean to…"

Her lips silenced him. After another heated kiss, she backed away from him, her mouth just above his. "I'm okay. But it won't help your career any if we get arrested for doing what I want to do to you right now. I think they call it public indecency."

"Are you sure?" His voice was husky; his passion was audible. "What happened to taking things slow?"

"I think we passed slow back there somewhere," her eyes teasing him. "And right now I just want to throw you to the ground and do obscene things. And I'm trained to do it too. I want you, Jim. I want all of you."

Jim thought he felt his heart stop. Could she be saying what he thought she was saying? He could feel the blood running through his veins…. hot blood, rising. No, his heart hadn't stopped; his heart was pounding and every nerve he had on fire. He studied her face, looking for the slightest hesitation. All he saw was pure, raw passion. And it was for him. This moment, this one moment…...he wanted to savor it as he realized that that this angel before him wanted him as much as he wanted her. The intensity in her eyes was growing as she gazed at him, inviting him with more and more urgency.

They gathered the picnic gear and walked back to his car, barely able to keep their composure. As soon as they were in the car, her left hand was on was his thigh. She needed to touch him, explore. Driving proved to be a challenge for Jim. He wanted to pull over and take her right there in the car. But this torture, the teasing of her hand and the drive back, the ferocity he felt and the heat he knew that she felt…..all these things would only make the outcome more satisfying.

Finally they made it back and were inside her door. He pressed her against the closed door and began again the kissing that she had interrupted in the park. His body pressed against her and he felt her need almost as strongly as he felt his own.

She was in a swirl of passion. She felt him against her, the heat radiating through their clothes. She needed to touch him. Her hands worked their way up the back of his shirt and found the satisfaction of bare skin. But that inflamed her more.

Her hands on his back urged him on in his passion. He pulled away just enough to grasp the bottom of her top and pull it over her head. Her bra quickly fell away and his eyes savored her breasts. His shirt came off as her fingers made quick work of his buttons. Then she froze. She was starring at his scars. He stepped away. Not far but enough to give her space. Space to react. "What happened?" Her eyes filled with pain. Tears began to form.

"Damn," he said. "I'd forgotten to warn you about that. I got shot awhile back." Embarrassment and self loathing flooded over him as he remembered his stupidity, letting Willie Cutter play him like that. He'd known but he ignored his instincts. He wasn't going to let Cutter kill the girl. After Bell, he just wouldn't have another death be on his conscience. He wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere. What would she think if she knew the story? What a sorry son of a bitch you are, he thought to himself.

"Jim, they don't look that old." Her hand tentatively reached toward his chest. "Catherine told me you'd been shot last year, but I had no idea." Her fingers gently worked their way around the scars left by the wound and the surgery. "And what's this?" she asked as she touched his tattoo. "May 11, 2006?"

"The day I got shot," he scowled. "It was a hostage situation and I was trying to talk the guy down and he shot me. …... Yeah, I barely made it. But it's okay now. Tatoo was kind of a….I don't know really...reminder of the stupidest thing I've ever done, I suppose." He shrugged, feeling stupid for letting the tattoo impulse overtake him after left the hospital.

Tears began to roll down her face. Words couldn't express what she was feeling.

"Jim reached for his shirt to put it back on but she stopped him. She looked into his eyes and saw the fear. "Jim, I'm … so… sorry," her voice revealing the ache she felt. Then she pulled him close. Her hands worked their way to the back of his head and she pulled herself to him. Her lips met him at the top of his chest and she tenderly kissed each scar. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

Jim wrapped his arms around her and held on as tight as he could. He remembered the terror in the hotel room as the gun fired and as the medics worked on him, of the hospital, the ER, and the time he died and was brought back. He remembered his feeling of wonder that he had survived. He still felt it. He remembered his friends, their concern and their care. He fought back tears. Tears that he had yet to allow himself after almost dying. He managed to keep them at bay but he needed to sit, compose himself. He made his way to the couch and slowly sank down on it, his head in his hands.

-----------------OKAY MAJOR WARNING: MATURE EYES ONLY----------------------------XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As he regained his control, chagrin set in. He couldn't believe he'd reacted so strongly in front of Glyn. She sensed his embarrassment and sat beside him on the sofa. She stroked the side of his face, watching him, still needing him. He wouldn't look at her so finally she cupped his chin with her hand and turned his face toward her. "Jim," she said softly.

"I'm sorry…. I didn't mean to fall apart like that. I usually don't do that, but……"

"Its okay, Jim. It doesn't change the way I feel. I'm grateful that you didn't die in that shooting. I'm grateful that you are here with me now. To think I could have missed knowing you. Missed….. Well, all the possibilities." Her eyes were full of concern and compassion. But he saw no pity as he studied her expression.

"Glyn, I …. "

Before he could finish his thought, her lips were on his and then they weren't. They were on his face, and down his neck, across his chest. She worked her way over his torso and the flame within reignited. His hands found her, wanted her, and needed her. He stroked her back but his hands were impatient. They found their way around her until resting on her breasts. Her nipples were hard and his fingers teased them as his mouth explored her neck. A sigh emerged from deep within her. Her eyes closed and opened and closed as waves of passion and desire passed through her. Somehow the rest of their clothes fell away as they surrendered to the fervor. He was slow and methodical as he explored her. No place on her body was sacred. He investigated every part. His lips and even more arousing tongue teased and licked her nipples. Gently sucking and circling, coaxing them into higher states of pleasure and desire. She was gasping and moaning….his sounds equally carnal. His tongues left its targets and traveled down, her entire body writhing with the sensuality of his journey. One of his hands massaged her breasts and the other stroked her inner thighs, as she submitted to his torture.

As much as his explorations excited her, she was frustrated. She wanted to explore him as well. Her hands inched their way over him. His skin was treasure to be fondled and cherished. Her fingers teased the thick curly hair on his chest as she explored him. Their appetite for one another increased as their hands, eyes, and mouths discovered new territory.

Neither was capable of thought beyond the need to touch and to kiss. Her mouth explored his nipples as well, before leaving to explore and discover other hot spots. She pulled him to her, so that he was above her now. Her hands traveled around him, stroking and teasing his back. Working their way down she found the cheeks of his ass. Oh, and did he have a nice one indeed! Her fingers worked their way into his dimples as she groped and clawed, pulling him closer to her. His hardness became more and more apparent. His hand reached between her legs and found her wet and anxious. His fingers teased open her valley to explore the mysteries within. His fingertip explored the aperture of her soaking burrow. Her hand was at work too, fondling and stroking his shaft, reveling in the size and strength of him.

Finally when each felt they could stand no more, she spoke. "Jim," she whispered hoarsely, "Jim, now. I need you….all of you." Jim used the tip of his cock to tease her. Then slowly, agonizingly slowly, he began to stroke until the lips of her hot box began to open to him. His rod slipped in between and his own wetness mingled with hers. Musk filled the air. He continued to stroke her valley until he found the magic tunnel. He slipped inside, finding his way into her. He pressed a little harder and made his way deep inside. Her head was back and her eyes rolled as she accepted him. He was huge….wonderfully and incredibly huge…filling her and increasing her desire. He filled her, massaging her inner walls as he slid deeper and deeper into her, "Jim, you're torturing me," she gasped.

He watched her face as he slid deeper. Raw desire encompassed him. He began to stroke her, little strokes at first. Still teasing. Her hips rose higher and higher with each one. Her hands reached for his butt, kneading his cheeks and pulling him closer to her. Forcing him deeper. His mouth found her breasts and he teased with his tongue. More moans. Jim was fighting to keep himself under control. His mouth traveled up to hers where her impatience became apparent. She began to do him with her tongue what she wanted him to do to her below. Just as he was about to lose it, her rapture began. White heat cascaded over her, carrying her up. Her whole being began to explode with the pleasure of him. Jim could feel her assent as her muscles tightened around him, adding pressure to a device that was already on the verge of explosion. He couldn't hold back any longer and he too was taken in by the white heat. Each stroke brought more pleasure until they erupted in a blinding explosion whose energy consumed them. Finally the heat began to subside. The force had been great and the aftershocks continued even as their bodies cooled. Jim could feel the tiny tremors within her as her hips continued to undulate. She felt his last little bursts of ecstasy as her hips slowly came to a rest. They lay there for awhile, simply breathing, basking in the receding heat and glow of passion. Jim eased himself to her side and began tracing the line of her jaw with his finger. He was afraid to speak…..afraid to break the spell. Her face turned toward him, still aglow with the joy of their experience. He looked deep into her eyes and saw the dying embers of her fire and something more…..what was it…. As he studied her expression he understood. This was only the beginning. He wrapped his arm around her and she slid onto her side. He eased closer. She nustled into the curves and crooks of his body and there they feel asleep; him with his arm around her holding her tight and she holding his hand.

A sound woke Jim. He was disoriented and confused for a second and then relaxed as he understood the source of the sound. He's been having a dream….a nightmare really. One he hadn't had in years but he knew it all too well. It was his mind's instant replay tape of the last night in his house in Jersey. His last night with his wife. He'd been finished the corruption investigation and had decided now was the time to make a clean break. No more Jersey and no more cheating wife. He'd confronted her about it. He'd known she had been playing around but until that night he didn't know how far it went. That night she told him. The list was long and even included one of the guys he had investigated. She wanted to hurt him as deeply as he had hurt her when he was with Annie. And it was that night that he'd learned that his precious Ellie wasn't really his daughter. That, more than any of the other, had broken his heart and almost broken him. The sound that had awakened him from his dream was the sound of her laughter…..her cruel, vicious laughter when she told him. She knew that would be the bitterest pill and she had saved it for last. It was a bitterness that still dwelled in his mouth and he'd believed he would carry that taste to his grave. But as he listened to Glyn's quiet breathing and felt her chest rise and fall under his arm, the cruelty and bitterness of that night long ago began to fade. He had no idea where his ex was or what she was doing. He wasn't sure that Ellie would ever come back to him. But he knew that here, with this woman…..this angel….he wanted to look ahead. All those years of hell were fading into the fog of his past. For the first time in years, he wanted a future.


	12. Chapter 12

By the end of the next week the hit and run story had been bumped off the front page by other news. Nick, Greg, and Grissom had wrapped up the evidence long before the story faded, but they were relieved that the press wouldn't be hounding them for any more for answers. Kyle Morris was in Juvie where he belonged and Sara was in a temporary placement while Child Services looked for a more permanent placement. The wear and tear of the hit and run, on top of the other cases that came across his desk, had kept Grissom busy enough that he hadn't had time to think as much about his Sara. Staying busy seemed to be helping. The CSI's and Jim began to see a change in him. While he wasn't himself yet, his dark moods were becoming fewer and farther between and he seemed to be calmer.

Everyone noticed a change in Jim too. He was smiling more and while he was still quite capable of sarcastic quips here and there, his humor wasn't quite as dark. He seemed to have found a new source of vitality and energy. He's always had a little strut in his gait...now it was evident to everyone. Catherine and Warrick knew its source but had talked to each other and agreed to keep it quiet. When Jim and Glyn were ready, they'd let everyone in on their secret. Catherine just hoped they wouldn't wait as long as Gil and Sara to share. She wasn't sure she could keep it under her hat THAT long.

Grissom, having had his plate full with an unusually busy couple of weeks, was once again trying to catch up on the pile of folders on his desk. It was that day that he finally opened the file from Glyn's first case. Little Sara's picture was on top. His heart skipped a beat as he opened the folder and was met by her big brown eyes. He sat, transfixed for a moment, and then slid the picture aside to read. Her story was in many ways like so many cases he'd read before. But in some particular ways, it was as if this was his Sara at age 6. At least his Sara was a little older when her world collapsed. This little girl was only 6 and she'd lost everything, even her innocence. Gil's heart was heavy. He felt a surge of sadness…..sadness for this little girl and all the other little Saras like her, and especially for his Sara. He pulled her picture back to the front and studied it more closely. She had a sweet face and trusting eyes, in spite of all that she had been through. No wonder Jim thought Glyn had a rough time with this one. Thinking of Jim, Gil wondered what had happened to Jim's idea of asking Glyn on a date. He hadn't seen any evidence that there was anything going on between the two but Jim sure had been different lately.

His gaze returned to little Sara Morris. I wonder how things are going for her now, he thought. Glyn said she was in a temp situation because there is no other family. All of that and now she's going to be locked into foster care too.

Catherine was standing in his doorway, doing her periodic check on his condition. Grissom was aware of her presence but was trying to ignore it. He really was doing better, he thought, and he wished everyone would just treat him like normal….whatever that was.

Cath saw the changing expressions on his face and recognized the sadness. But it wasn't the agony that she'd seen when he first came back, she thought. She noticed he had a file open…..maybe that's it. "Hey Gil…." she ventured.

He looked up and resigned himself to the Catherine quiz. His eyebrow lifted and his face took on what Catherine had come to think of as the classic Grissom look. "Making any headway on your stack?"

"A little." What the hell, I'll show her the file and see what she thinks. "Just going over this case from a couple weeks ago."

Catherine eased up on the corner of his desk as he handed her the file. After reading it, she understood why he'd been looking sad. "Wow, Glyn got a tough one. And on her first solo too.

We got the bastard, didn't we?"

"Yeah, at least til he's 21. But something about this little girl got to me."

"Could it be because she has big brown eyes and her name is Sara? Darn, I wish I hadn't said that, thought Cath.

"Yeah, that's part of it." he winced. "And there are some similarities in their stories. But….there's something else. Its just….." he paused.

"Just?"

"…...Well, she's only 6 years old and she's lost everything, for starters. And now she's lost in the system."

"You mean…..literally lost?"

"Well, ….no. But she's in the system with little hope of getting out."

"Well, you can only do so much, Gil. At least we got the bastard."

"Yeah, you're right. I just wish…..well, that there was something more I could do."

Catherine almost fell off his desk. Gil Grissom never got this involved with the individuals in a case…..well, not unless they involved Heather, at least. "Have you tried contacting her case worker? Maybe they can give you an idea….at least some information."

Gil looked surprised. Why didn't I think of that, he thought. "I think I will…..hunt down this caseworker. Thanks Cath"

"Glad I could help," she said as she slipped off her perch. "You know, Gil, for a guy who is as observant as you are, sometimes I think a snake could wiggle right up and bite you," she said as she headed to the door.

"That's why I have you around, Cath. To warn me about snakes," he smiled.

Now THAT sounded like the old Grissom, she thought.

Grissom watched appreciatively as she exited. Damn she's got a hot ass, he thought.

He called and located Sara Morris's caseworker. The woman had little to add to the information on Sara. But she did give him an address. She said he could go by and visit, if he liked, but to please call first and make an appointment. So he did. On Tuesday at 3:30 pm Gil Grissom was scheduled to meet little Sara Morris.


	13. Chapter 13

As the shift ended, Catherine found herself once again in Grissom's office. "Hey, whatcha doing for breakfast, Bugman?"

Grissom looked up from his pile of folders, admittedly shorter now and replied with a scowl, "I _should _finish this before I leave….but I have a feeling you are about to make a better offer?"

"Well, there's our favorite diner or I could fix omelets at your place?"

"Latter sounds good, Cath. I'm not up to the diner this morning. I'll need to stop and pick up the makings, though. My cupboards are bare, I'm afraid."

"Okay, well…wait…you finish the one you are working on and I'll stop by the store and meet you in…say, half hour?"

"A smile crept across his face as he nodded in agreement. "See you then."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Yeah, I've got everything I need, except you here," Brass spoke warmly into the phone.

He was busy, preparing a breakfast surprise of his own.

"_Well, I'm finally finished with the case and am heading out now. I'll see you in a few minutes….._

"Okay, I'll try to be patient," he chuckled into the phone before closing it.

He still couldn't believe that this woman was becoming a big part of his life. They were spending almost all of their off time together and he was beginning to believe that this might be okay. She seemed to understand his ambivalent feelings over being shot and …well, dying and then coming back. Her only comment was that whatever he felt, he shouldn't feel stupid about it. He knew the odds when he walked into that room but put the girls' life above his own. "In my book, that's heroic….or at the least unbelievably unselfish," had been her response when he had broached the subject again later. "Maybe you should rethink taking that plaque out of your drawer. In any case, Jim, I don't ever want you to doubt that you are a good man or that.." and then she had said it, words that he had long ago given up on, "I love you." He smiled as he remembered the first time she had uttered those words to him, his head shaking in disbelief. He hadn't had the courage to speak them himself but she didn't seem to be expecting that he would. She was just taking their relationship one step at a time and seemed content. His fear was not that he didn't love her, but that once she heard his whole story, she would want her love back. He knew that if he openly admitted his feelings for her and she did draw back, he'd be crushed. So before telling her how deeply he had fallen for her, he needed to tell her the truth about himself. He knew what he needed to do but he wasn't sure he had the courage to follow it through.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Catherine showed up on Grissom's doorstep, as promised. Usually he cooked but recently she had been filling the role. It had started after Sara's death and seemed to be their new routine. He helped her unpack the bags and pulled out the pans and bowls that she would need.

"So, Grissom, you're beginning to act more like your old self….does that mean I get out of KP soon?' Catherine asked.

He smiled; pleased that she thought he was more himself these days. "Well, let's ease into that. I'll help today but you're the head chef….Okay?" His eyes were actually smiling.

"Deal." She returned his smile and then got busy with the eggs.

He chopped the peppers and onions for the omelets while she cracked eggs and began warming the skillet.

He reached into the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of juice, pouring some for each of them. She smiled as he handed her glass to her.

"So, did you find the little girl's caseworker?"

"Yeah, have an appointment on Tuesday. Thanks for suggesting it."

"Let me know how it goes."

They continued on with other chatter as they worked together to create two amazing breakfast omelets….at least in their opinions.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Glyn had arrived at Jim's just as he was finishing the bacon and putting the eggs on. He had pancakes going on a griddle. "Hi," he grinned as she came through the door. She walked into his kitchen and headed straight for him. She leaned in and kissed him deeply, but briefly before speaking. "Now that's my kind of man,' she teased, "barefoot and in the kitchen." She pinched his ass as she turned to get juice form his fridge.

Delighted with her greeting, Jim's entire face lit up. "Yeah, next thing, you'll be knocking me up……so typical of a woman," he smirked.

"Well, while I don't see that happening, I wouldn't mind giving it a try," she chuckled. "You volunteering for the experiment?"

"Yes ma'm." he replied shamelessly.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

The two senior CSIs had finished their breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. They were sitting on Grissom's couch. He was channel surfing while she was looking at a magazine that was sitting in a nearby chair.

"Honestly, Gil, can't you get some subscriptions that are not forensics journals or bug magazines?"

"Those are all excellent choices, Catherine. There's a lot of good information there."

"I don't want to be informed. I want entertainment." The surfing had stopped and the Discovery Channel was on the TV. "And no Discovery today, please?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "So what would you like to do then, Miss Picky?"

"How about a movie?"

'You know my selection, which one…."

She interrupted him, "No, I mean at a theater…you know like the olden days, when people used to go the movies."

"Oh. Is there a good one out? No blood and guts, please. I'm not in the mood."

"There's 'Ocean's Thirteen'…"

"A casino heist? I don't think so….."

"There's a new Robin Williams…."

"Yeah….I don't know. Can't we do something besides a movie?"

"Like what?"

"Where's Lindsey today?"

"Ah, she was staying with a friend last night. I'm sure she won't be home until afternoon."

"What if….well, we could go to the Adventuredome. If you think Lindsey would like to…." He was lit up, his eyes wide and excited.

"You want to spend the day at an amusement park with a teenager?"

"And her mom."

Catherine stared at him in disbelief. "Since when do you like kids?"

"I've always liked kids," he said, a little pouty. "They just don't seem to like me."

"Well, Lindsey loves you….as much as she likes anybody these days. But Gil, she's a hormone crazed teenaged girl, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, I am. We used to have really great Saturdays and I miss that."

"Okay. Let me call her…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Jim and Glyn had finished their breakfast. "So, what are we doing today….besides sleeping, I mean?" she asked him as she sat on the couch.

"You can do whatever you want to and I'll just watch you. How's that?"

She threw a pillow from his couch at him. He laughed and settled in next to her. Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her close and kissed her.

"Mmmmmm, I like that idea," she said. But later." She pulled away just enough to look into his shimmering eyes. "We've been spending a lot of time together and I feel like I know who you are but not how you got here. And there's a lot you don't know about me either. I think we need to spend some time finding out more about each other."

Jim's heart plummeted. It's not that he didn't want to tell her but…..he was scared. And he felt like he knew everything about her that he needed to know. She is beautiful, smart, funny, loving, and considerate, he thought. What else could I possibly need to know?

"So, I'm proposing a little game of truth or dare."

"And what do I get if you don't give the right answers?" he teased.

"Anything you want but it goes both ways…..' she said suggestively.

"Okay, I'll start….. Truth or Dare?"

Her eyes sparkled as she replied, "Truth."

Damn, he thought. What am I supposed to ask? "Hmmmm….who was your best lover, ever?"

She burst into laughter. "Now how do you want me to answer that?" she taunted.

"Truth, of course." He wasn't really sure he wanted the answer but he was curious.

Her eyes were playing around him now, looking at his face and then dropping, coy and flirtatious. Then her eyes nailed his. "You." She said, simply.

"Ah, I don't think so, but I appreciate that you said it." He shifted uncomfortably in his place.

"Truth, right? That's the truth."

"No way," he couldn't help smiling.

"Look, Jim. It's not like I've had that many. But of the few men I've been with, you are the most considerate….in and out of bed. And that makes you my best lover, ever." She leaned over and kissed him. Lowering her eyes she continued, "Not to mention that you have some very nice _ass_ets. Now, truth or dare?"

He hardly heard her question. He was stunned by what she had said about him. He had never been the best looking guy in the room…unless he was the only one. So he had always tried to be more considerate when he was interested in a woman and when needed, funnier than the other guys. But he always felt that his efforts had made him only marginally acceptable to the female of the species. She seemed to see him very differently.

"Jim?"

""What…oh, ah….truth, I guess."

"Why did you move from Jersey to Vegas?"

Oh God, I'm busted. "Well…ah, " he licked his lips trying to collect his thoughts. "I was a cop back there too. And I was assigned to work undercover to expose corruption in the vice squad. And….." he told her about his life back East, the whole stinking story. How dirty he felt after the investigation and how he's cheated on his wife and how she'd cheated on him. How he'd looked for answers in the bottom of a bottle until he couldn't stand to be in his own skin anymore. So he'd decided to leave all that behind and try to start fresh someplace else. When he was finished he was afraid to look at her. Afraid of what he might see in her eyes.

She listened quietly to him, sensing his discomfort and reluctance. When he finished, she tried to make eye contact but he kept his eyes hidden form her, looking down. He sighed heavily and waited for her to leave.

"Jim, listen. We all have parts of our lives that we're not especially proud of…things that happen that almost break us…some of it we do to ourselves. Some of it done to us….by people we thought we could trust. If you're expecting me to judge you in some way for mistakes you may or may not have made, I can't do that. I don't have that right."

Jim looked up at her, tentatively. "I'll understand if you decide that I'm not the man you seem to think I am….I mean, I don't see myself as that man. And there's more too, I might as well tell you all of it. He continued his story, told her about Ellie and about shooting Officer Bell. "I killed that kid, Glyn. I took him away from his young family and at his wake…..his wife, she…." Tears were rolling down his cheeks now, "she hugged me and she forgave me. I just haven't been able to forgive myself."

She was very quiet for a few minutes and it frightened him. Finally she spoke. "As long as we're spilling the whole bean pot here, I guess it's fair that you know my story. Then maybe you'll finally understand that I love you and I'm not going to judge you." She paused before beginning. My Dad was an alcoholic. I don't remember him sober at all, ever until I was in high school. He used to come home and slap my mother around before crashing. I can still hear him stumbling own the hall, using the walls to hold himself up until he hit the bed. My brother would try to run interference for my Mom and then Dad would beat him. As soon as he was old enough, Danny joined the Marines to get out. He actually apologized to me for leaving me there on my own. He was killed later in Beirut.

Mom always seemed to want to make things worse. She'd never just leave Dad passed out. She always insisted that he come to the dinner table at night and for Sunday Dinner. He'd be so drunk and she'd badger him like that. He'd lose his temper and the hitting would start again. Over and over….. Finally he got so bad that he couldn't work and we lost the house. Mom had a job and was able to get a little one in her name. After we moved, Dad locked himself in the bedroom for two weeks, only coming out to get more booze. Finally, he did come out to try to talk. Not that he was capable of it. He was hallucinating and swinging back and forth between anger and crying. He went on like that for hours. Then when he finally passed out again, Mom grabbed me and we snuck out. We stayed with friends until she could get a court order to get him out of the house." She paused to catch her breath and collect her thoughts.

"My God, Glyn, did he hit you?"

"Yeah, when he was really bad. And… I've never told another soul this….but he did other things too. Things I'd rather not talk about, but you've been a cop long enough….you know what I'm talking about."

He grabbed her and held her tightly. His tears were for her now. His heart was breaking.

"Mom throwing him out seemed to wake him up. He checked himself into the hospital and they put him in a rehab program. He was gone for a month. When he came back, he was still pretty messed up but he was sober. He fought hard and worked hard to put himself back together. I learned a valuable lesson from him through that. I learned that no matter how bad things get, no matter how low you go there is still hope. Anyway, gradually he got better and turned into a father that I loved very much before he died. Somewhere along the way, I learned to forgive him and thankfully he was finally able to forgive himself."

Amazement washed over Jim. She had been able to forgive the man all of THAT? And even loved him? She can't be real? But he knew that she was. He thought of Ellie. Maybe one day…..

She continued, "My first year of college, I met Owen. He was from Wales, there on a student visa. I fell for him totally. We married later that year. It was hard for us but somehow we managed. The twins were born ten months later."

"Twins? You told me about your son, Evan. You have twins?"

"Evan is one of my twins. His brother, Hugh, died in the accident that took his father. When the boys were ten, Owen was taking them to a baseball game and a drunk driver ran a red light. Owen and Hugh were dead before the paramedics got to them. Evan survived somehow. He still feels guilty that he survived and his brother didn't.

After the accident I did my best as a single mom raising a troubled boy. We did okay, I think. I got a job working in at the police department and got interested in forensics. Went back to school for it so that we would have some security. It wasn't easy, but we did it. His senior class was the Class of '02. He had talked about a military career before 9/11, but after he and his buddies spent the day watching the videos of planes hitting the towers, they left school and went to the recruiting office. He joined the Marines on a deferment and the day after graduation, shipped off to boot. You can imagine the fear I felt. He was the only family I had left and he was in the middle of the mess in Afghanistan. Then he was shipped to Iraq. Thankfully he made it home. After he got stateside he started taking college classes, testing out of a lot of classes. That's how he was able to graduate this past December. That's also why he promised that he wouldn't work for the bigger police departments. He knew how much I worried while he was away and didn't want to cause more worry. But I knew that if I stayed there, I'd drive him nuts worrying about him. He's an adult now and he needs to live his own life. He doesn't need Mamma hanging around making him miserable. And I felt a need for a change, anyway. So here I am.

And I feel like I have been given an incredible gift …..you. Owen was a good man in many ways but he was also a very selfish man. He always came first. He was never physically abusive but verbally, well that was different. By the time he died, I didn't have much left in the way of self esteem."

Her eyes sought Jim's as she finished. "You make me feel safe and warm….secure. Something I've never felt before in my entire life. And more than that, you make me feel …." She searched for the word…., "cherished. That's why I love you Jim. And why you can't tell me anything that will make me love you less."

He held her tightly, not wanting to let go. So many things were running through his mind and so many emotions. He couldn't quite sort it all out. But finally he understood why he meant as much to her as she meant to him. He wanted to hold her like this forever.

- - - - - - - - -

Lindsey had agreed to go if her friend could come too. Catherine was glad because then, at least, Lindsey might act civilly. Gil was thrilled to have the girls riding the roller coaster with him. Catherine bailed. Eventually the girls were going their own way and leaving the 'old people' behind. As Catherine watched her long time friend, she couldn't help thinking how relaxed he was. Yeah, finally Gil Grissom was coming back to them.


	14. Chapter 14

Tuesday couldn't come fast enough to suit Gil Grissom. He had been irritable at work the last two nights and everyone had felt it. He wasn't intentionally trying to be difficult, he just was. It didn't help that he hadn't slept well either. He gone home on Saturday, after dropping Catherine and Lindsey at their house, and proceeded to unravel. He couldn't understand what was bothering him so much; he just knew he was bothered.

At 3:30 on Tuesday, he stood on the front porch of the Mueller home, foster family for Sara Morris. A warm, friendly face smiled at him from inside the door. "Mr. Grissom? I'm Lara Mueller. Come in, please."

He stepped into the entry and waited for her to show him further into the house. "Before I introduce you to Sara, Mr. Grissom, I want to warn you. She is very withdrawn. Don't be surprised if she doesn't speak to you, or even look at you. She rarely interacts with any of us. I'm not sure why you are here, but please don't do anything that will upset her. I feel like she just can't handle much more."

"I understand, Mrs. Mueller. I'm not really sure why I am here either. But something about her case compelled me to meet her. I promise I'll be very careful."

"Well, she's in what we call the playroom. It's at the back of the house, just off the kitchen. I've got some chores in the kitchen so I'll stay close, if you or she needs me. I just hope you aren't expecting too much." she was talking as she led him through the house to the back.

They stepped into the room. Sara Morris was sitting at a child's table in the corner. Her attention was on the coloring book in front of her. Her eyes never left her work as the two adults entered her space.

"Sara, this is Mr. Grissom. He has come to visit. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, okay?"

The child didn't look up as her crayon continued with her task. Gil edged closer to the table, his head tilting to get a better look at her picture. "May I sit down?" he asked.

Her hand kept its coloring motion. He wasn't sure that she had heard him and was about to ask again when her eyes glanced slightly toward the other chair. Gil took that as a positive sign and tried to carefully ease himself into the child sized chair. After finding a reasonable perch on it, he looked again at her handiwork. "That's a very nice picture that you are coloring."

Still no response from her. He sat quietly for a few minutes. He noticed that she liked to use dark blue a lot. "Blue my favorite color too," he tried again.

Her eyes fluttered to his face, briefly. As they settled again on her work, her head tilted. Then very slowly she slid the blue crayon across the table toward him. Then she picked up another shade of blue to continue her task. He wondered what he was supposed to do with the crayon. Then he remembered the coloring book in his pocket. As he pulled it out he spoke again, "Mrs. Mueller told me on the phone that you like to color. I brought a new book for you to color. It has butterflies. I wasn't sure what you like, but I like butterflies so I bought it for you." He put it in the middle of the table, not wanting to invade her space.

The crayon in her hand stopped moving. He could see her eyes travel to the book and rest there. No expression registered in her face. She studied the book for a minute and then slowly reached for it. Brown eyes were slyly looking in his direction, gauging his response. He sat very still. Both of her hands took hold and she pulled it to her, opening it to see the inside. Each page was turned carefully as she considered each picture. Finding one that she liked, she put the book down. Picking up her blue crayon, she began to color the butterfly. Grissom fought his temptation to explain that the butterfly should be yellow with black markings but he realized the importance of her actions and simply watched as she colored.

He took the opportunity to explore her face. She did indeed have big brown eyes, almost chocolate, he thought. They were too big for her face and had a very somber expression. She had the cute little nose that he supposed was normal for small children. Her mouth had a childlike quality…..cherub mouth he thought he remembered someone calling it. Her skin was pale, as much from grief and sadness as from lack of sunlight, he suspected.

His butt was beginning to go to sleep and he was considering that perhaps he should go when she pushed the book in his direction….just a little. Her eyes made their way up to his briefly, touching his, before quickly looking away. "You can color too," she whispered.

He wasn't entirely sure he had heard her. The voice had been so small and frightened. "What color should I use?" he asked.

Again her eyes glanced up briefly. "Blue, like your eyes."

He carefully picked up the crayon and began to color where she pointed. He had colored many, many times as part of his labs. As a student he had been required to illustrate his findings. But he had never colored just to be coloring. As a child, no one had ever told him it might be fun. Sitting at the table with this small fragile being, he still didn't see the fun in it, but he did appreciate the connection that it created between the two of them.

After they finished the picture, he decided that it really was time to leave. "I have to leave now, Sara. But I would like to come back and visit another time. Would that be okay with you?'

She carefully tore the page from the book and handed it to him. Her eyes looked into his and this time she didn't look away. "You can have our picture. We'll make another one when you come back."

"Thank you, Sara. I'll keep this in a special place to remind me of my new friend. And I will come back soon, I promise."

He stepped into the kitchen to thank Mrs. Mueller and arrange another visit. She seemed pleased that the girl had interacted with him, if only a little. They agreed that he would come again on Thursday.

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Catherine noticed at work that night that he was a little more settled, not so cranky. The team was working three different cases, all pretty routine, but it kept them busy anyway. As the shift was ending she slid into the chair in front of his desk. "So, it's good to see you got the burr out from under your saddle." She barbed.

"Excuse me," he said as he looked up, taking his glasses off and putting them on his desk.

"You heard me….you've had a burr under your saddle for the last couple of days and tonight, you seem better." She was smiling now.

'You've been spending way to much time with Nick" He smiled too.

"I thought you had a really good time Saturday. I know Lindsey and I did. But then you came into work Sunday night all piss and vinegar. So what's been going on?"

"I did have a good time. And not much."

"Give it up, Gil. Something's been bothering you and I'm not leaving until you tell me."

He studied her expression and knew he was defeated. "Sara Morris."

"The little girl from Glyn's case?"

'Yeah, I went to see her today."

"And?"

"It's very sad. She's so tiny and so sad. She barely talks to anyone or even looks at them."

"Gil, why did you go visit her? I thought you had a meeting with the caseworker?"

"No, my meeting was with her. And I don't know why. Something just…..compelled me to do it. And I'm going back on Thursday."

Catherine could see that he was determined. She couldn't understand why he was doing this but she knew that nothing she said would change his mind. "Gil, please….just be very careful. For both your sakes."

"I will, Cath. And thanks." Dismay was apparent on his face.

"Nothing to thank me for and I'm not sure why you are doing this, but if you need a friend…."

"I know….therefore the thanks." A small smile crept into his countenance.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Glyn headed home on Wednesday morning. She wasn't scheduled to work that night and Jim didn't have to work again until the swing shift on Thursday afternoon. They had planned to spend the day and, she hoped, the night together.

Her cell rang as she let herself into her house. "Hello?"

"_Hey…it's me. I got stuck on a case and I'm running late. I should be there in about an hour."_

"Late, huh? Stuck on a case? You expect me to believe that oldie, do ya? Well, if you're expecting any sympathy from me, well…."

"_Honestly, I did get stuck….be nice to me I'm serving the public."_

"Question is….what are you serving? You know I don't share well and you'd better be saving your best service for me." She could picture the grin on his face and the color rising in his ears. She loved the way his ears blushed.

"_Protect and Serve…..that's my motto,"_ he chuckled.

Well, I guess I'll just have to be patient until room service gets here then. Look for me in the back, I have a few yard chores to do."

"_What will the neighbors think….I mean when your service provider arrives and takes care of business in the back yard?_

"Guess we'll find out in about an hour."

A very sinister laugh erupted on the other end of her line before the call went dead.

She changed into some old clothes and headed out back to tend to her small flower garden and put the sprinkler on her little square of grass. One thing led to another and before long she had an impressive pile of weeds that had been pulled from the bed. She'd raked some mulch around to cover the disturbed areas and had sprayed the lawn furniture with the hose to clean some of the grime off of it.

Jim's car pulled into her drive and he headed to the backyard. He found her bent over the flower bed, investigating some new shoots. "Oh wow," as he ogled her rear end high in the air, "I'll service that anytime."

She turned to look up at him. She loved to see him smiling like that. His whole face was lit up and he looked so cute she wanted to jump him right there. "Dare you," she teased.

He kneeled beside her and leaned in to kiss her. While their lips discovered each other, she felt for the hose that was on the ground on her other side and put her hand on the nozzle. Just as he began to pull away, she brought the hose around and hit him in the chest with the spray. He fell backwards, yelping at the sudden cold burst of water. "That's what you get for being late," she giggled.

He lunged forward and tackled her to the ground, the hose spewing between them, soaking them both. Somehow he managed to get the nozzle in his hand and laid it to the side. Then he leaned in and kissed her again. His lips traced her mouth and teased her lips to be let inside. She opened her lips, allowing him access. As his tongue found its way in, it was met by hers. They taunted each other and teased with their tongues. She tasted so good to him; he was reveling in her flavor and warmth. Her head was swirling. He could send shockwaves of desire through her with just a kiss….well, not exactly _just_ a kiss. At times, it felt he could make her come by kissing her. Nothing else would be required. This was one of those times. She felt herself being carried away on a cloud of passion that was being created by his tongue and lips. Jim sensed her arousal; his wasn't far behind. "Maybe we should go in…and get out of these wet clothes," he said heavily.

"Yeah, too many clothes," she gasped.

The clothes started coming off as soon as they hit the inside of the house. By the time they made it to the bedroom, both were naked. His hands were all over her body, touching everywhere. He couldn't get enough of touching her. Her hands were not quiet either. They explored his chest and ran up behind his head, down his neck, then his back. Her right hand made its way around to his teddy bear fuzz chest and her fingers worked their way through the fuzz. His hand had found her breast by then, her arousal evident in her nipples' hardness. His fingers teased and massaged all around the brown circle before he took the tip between his thumb and forefinger, teasing it into an even harder state. Next his mouth was there, his tongue circling, his lips nibbling. Wave after wave of pure desire flushed through her body causing her to squirm beneath him. Each wave caused her hips to rise off the mattress, her wet mound grinding into him, sending shock waves through him. His hand moved down and positioned itself to meet each of her grinds. He let his fingers slide into the luscious wetness there. She began to move against his fingers, further stimulating herself. Suddenly she flipped him over on his back and before that even registered, her hand was around his shaft and her tongue was circling the tip of his cock. Now he was the one squirming and rising to meet her. "God, baby….I can't take much of this….." he moaned. Her mouth opened and she slowly sucked him into it. "Oh Baby…." He was fighting for control. Her mouth slid very slowly off of his cock and then she was over him, sliding down on him. He thought he would shoot as the warmth and wetness of her eased down on his rod. He could feel her response as her inner muscles squeezed him. She was fighting for control too. Then she began to stroke him, sliding all the way up his shaft until his tip was at her opening. Then she slid back down, hard and fast, eliciting moans from both of them. She leaned over and they were kissing again. His hands found her breasts and he began kneading and caressing. Her strokes continued gaining fervor. He watched as she lifted her head, eyes closed and her nostrils flared with the increased breathing. He could tell she was about to over the edge. Then her eyes opened and were boring in on his, her lust like a current between them. And then she lost it, "Auugh….." she moaned as her hips went wild and she began pounding him. Her release sent him over the edge and his hips began to rise to meet her. Her heated frenzy was met with his as they exploded almost simultaneously. She collapsed beside him on the bed. Their sexual desires were satisfied but their need to touch wasn't. Each continued to touch and rub the other as their heat subsided and their breathing returned to normal. Content, they stayed there for a long time, simply touching and caressing.

Finally, he spoke. "I'm kind of hungry. Do we have anything to grill?"

Laughing, she looked at him. "Just like a man….next thing, you'll be smoking a cigarette."

"No, but I do have these really great cigars that I save for special occasions."

"Well, this isn't a special occasion."

"Honey, if that wasn't special, then I don't know what is…." He said as he pulled her closer.

Finally they got dressed. She'd had to run out to his car to get his change of clothes since his were still wet on the kitchen floor. While he started the grill, she threw his clothes in the dryer to tumble and then hung them to dry.

Later, after finishing a rather satisfying steak and potatoes lunch, they sat on his couch Contentment had overtaken them both. Jim's mind was contemplating the current state of affairs when suddenly a disconcerting thought crossed his mind. "Glyn….'

"Hmmmmm?"

"I didn't think old guys like me were supposed to be able to do this…."

"What?'

"Well, you know…._this_..I mean, we've been humping like rabbits the last few days. I didn't think….."

"Well, I don't know, Thumper…..you seem to be keeping up." She was chuckling at him now.

"Thumper?'

"Yeah, from Bambi?"

"I know the story….but why Thumper?'

"You started it with the rabbit comment."

Laughter erupted from deep within him. "Thumper, huh?"

"Yeah, and I haven't seen any signs that Thumper is getting old."

"But I am quite a few years older than you and sooner or later….."

"Then we'll sit here like this and cuddle and I'll run my fingers through your fuzzy chest and whatever other hair you have left. And if things get too frustrating, I'll go find some young stud puppy that can keep me satisfied," she said flirtatiously.

"But…"

"Jim, while I would certainly miss Thumper, I don't love you because you are great in the sack. And I will still love you when Thumper begins to wear out. We women have our own issues in the department too, you know. Most couples who love each other seem to find a way…."

He was feeling a little more relaxed but the thought that he might not be able to please her made him anxious. "I just want you to be happy," he said quietly.

"Then all you have to do is hold me like this. Let me feel your warmth and your love. That's all I really need, Jim. The rest is just….well, something special that we'll remember when we are old and the memories will warm us."

Jim liked the sound of growing old with her. He liked the images her words invoked. But that was all in the future. Right now, he was very content with his present.


	15. Chapter 15

On Thursday afternoon, Grissom found himself on Mrs. Mueller's front porch again. Just as before, she opened the door and let him in. Also as before Sara was in the playroom, coloring.

"Hi, Sara. How are you today?" he began.

She looked up and then returned her attention to her picture. He walked over to see what she was coloring. It was another butterfly. He sat again on the small chair and watched her work. Finally when she had finished the picture, she handed the book to Grissom. He took it and began looking through it. She had colored all the pictures. Gently he spoke, "These are very beautiful butterflies, Sara. Oh, and I brought you another book. This one isn't a coloring book though. It is a book about butterflies." He pulled the book from his jacket pocket. It was a child's book he had spotted at the bookstore. "I picked this book because it has your butterfly on the front," he continued. He pointed out the blue and black butterfly, "that's a Sara Longwing butterfly. See it even has your favorite color, blue."

She took the book and studied the picture. Without taking her eyes from it she asked softly, "I get my own butterfly?"

"Yes, it's your butterfly. It has to be just for you because it is blue."

"Do you have a butterfly?"

"I don't have one named for me. But I collect them. I have quite a few actually."

"Collect them?"

"Yes, when I find one that I don't already have, I take it home and add it to my collection. I have butterflies on my walls."

"Don't they die on your walls like that?"

"Well, I don't take them home unless they are already dead. Butterflies need to be free to live their full life. But if I find one that has died, I try to keep it."

"You don't kill them?"

"No, honey, I don't like things to die. But sometimes it happens anyway."

"Yeah." She opened the book and found another blue butterfly. "What's that?"

"That's the Blue Morpho. It is very beautiful too."

"Do you have one?'

"No, but I've seen one. The picture isn't as pretty as it is in real life."

"Can I see your butterflies?"

"Well, I'll have to talk to Mrs. Mueller….or maybe I could just bring a frame of them and show you that way. Would that be okay?"

Sara nodded. She turned the page and was looking at a picture of a cocoon. "What's that?"

"Well, that's a cocoon. Butterflies aren't very pretty when they are first born. The look like funny worms. And all they do is eat. And when they finally get enough to eat, they wrap themselves in a cocoon and rest for awhile. When they are finished resting they come out of the cocoon and they've changed."

"Changed? They put on different clothes?"

"Kind of," Gil had never thought of it like that. "Their bodies change. They go in as a funny looking worm and they come out as a beautiful butterfly with wings. Once they spread their wings and let them dry, the butterfly flies away."

She continued looking at the pictures. She showed him a picture of a caterpillar. "That's the funny worm?"

"Yes, it's called a caterpillar."

Brown eyes met blue ones and Grissom's heart melted. "Thank you for the book," she said.

"Thank you, Sara. Most of my friends are tired of me always talking about butterflies. It's nice to have a new friend to talk with about butterflies." He thought for a minute and the asked, "Sara, would you excuse me a minute? I need to ask Mrs. Mueller a question. I'll be right back."

Stiffly he stood up and went to find the foster mother. "Mrs. Mueller, ah….would it be possible for me take Sara for a few hours on Saturday? I'd like to show her my butterfly collection. She seems interested. And then perhaps for ice cream or something."

"Sara's interested in butterflies? How do you know that?"

"Well, she colored all the pictures in the book and then I gave her a book about them and she was asking questions. She asked if she could see my collection."

"She talked to you?" Her surprise was unmistakable.

"Yes, just about butterflies. But she asked quite a few questions."

"Then I think Saturday is a wonderful idea. What time would you like her to be ready?"

"Would morning or afternoon be better?"

"How about 9:00 Saturday morning?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Mueller. I'll pick her up then."

He returned to Sara and asked her, "Sara, Mrs. Mueller said it would be okay for me to show you my butterfly collection on Saturday. Would you like me to take you to see it?"

For the first time since he'd met the child, she smiled. "Yes."

"Okay, then I will come pick you up Saturday. But I have to go now."

Sara ran to him and hugged his leg. "Thank you," she said as she squeezed him. He knelt and looked in her eyes. "I enjoyed visiting with you and I'll see you Saturday, Okay?"

Her little arms reached around his neck and she held on. Mrs. Mueller was watching from the doorway in disbelief.

Grissom stood and headed out. Sara stood quietly and watched him leave, her demeanor once again becoming sad. Mrs. Mueller followed him out to the porch. "Mr. Grissom?"

"Yes." He turned to face her.

"You know we are not her permanent placement, don't you?"

"Yes." He wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"Child Services is looking for a foster family…or even adoptive family. And seeing how she responds to you…. Well, I was wondering if you would consider….."

He cut her off. "Mrs. Mueller, I'm not married and I work nights and am on call almost all the time. I'm not really a good candidate."

"Oh, well I just thought…..well, I guess it doesn't matter though." She was clearly disappointed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That night at work he found Catherine in the layout room. "Cath, I think maybe I've made a mistake."

Catherine turned and surveyed her friend. He looked distraught. "So what'd you do to tick off Ecklie this time?"

"It's not Ecklie. It's Sara Morris." He got quiet, pensive.

"Gil?"

"I saw her again today. And I brought her a butterfly book. She started asking questions and I told her about my collection. So Saturday I'm going to show it to her."

"Your whole collection?"

"The ones at the house. Not the ones here. I'm not going to bring her here."

"Gil, you're getting attached to her, aren't you?"

"It's hard not too. And, Cath, she hugged me. Mrs. Mueller said she hardly even looks at anybody and she hugged me."

Catherine thought for a minute. "Gil, you usually don't like hugs."

"She's hard to turn away." He was looking pretty grim.

"I thought you were going to be careful…."

"There's more….. Mrs. Mueller suggested that I be her foster parent, or even adopt her."

"Gil?" she rasped. "You're getting in way over your head here."

"That's what I was afraid you'd say. I'm okay but I'm worried that I will make things worse for her."

As she watched his misery, she was thinking. "Gil, can I meet her. Maybe we could have breakfast at your place since you're taking her there anyway?"

He wasn't sure why she wanted to meet the little girl but he didn't have a reason to say no. "Sure, Cath. I'm picking her up at 9:00."

"Okay, it's a date."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

After some discussion, it was decided that Catherine would fix breakfast at Gil's while he went to get Sara. He walked in with Sara just as Catherine was finishing the eggs.

"Sara, this is my friend Catherine Willows. I told her about you and she wanted t meet you."

Sara looked solemnly at Catherine. It was clear that she was not happy to see anyone else with Grissom.

Catherine dove in. "Hi Sara. Grissom told me all about meeting you. He is so excited to have a new friend, especially one that likes butterflies. He told me so many nice things about you that I wanted to meet you."

"Look Sara" Gil jumped in, "Catherine made breakfast for us. Why don't we eat while it is still warm?"

The three of them sat at his table, eating a very quiet meal. When they had finished, Catherine began picking up the dishes. "Show her the butterflies, Gil."

Gil and Sara walked around the room with him showing her each group. After they had examined all the butterflies, she began looking around his living room. Then she climbed on his couch and sat, watching Catherine and Gil.

"What now?" he asked his long time friend.

"Gee, I don't know, Gil. I can tell you this, she wants as little to do with me as possible."

"We could go to the bookstore. Maybe she'd like another book?"

Laughing, Catherine answered, "Only you would think that a bookstore would be fun for a 6 year old."

"So you make a suggestion…."

"Lindsey used to love to go to the fountains at the Bellagio."

Gil turned toward his tiny companion. "Hey Sara, want to go for a ride?"

She slid off the couch and walked over, standing next to him. A small smile inched across her face.

The trio headed to the Bellagio. Catherine had been right in suggesting it. Sara was fascinated by the water. After watching the fountains, they found a little café that also served ice cream. Sara had a bowl of chocolate; Catherine had a fruit smoothie, while Gil drank coffee.

Catherine had been watching the little girl, especially her reactions to Grissom. The child adored him. So, what's not to adore she thought to herself. Sara wasn't rude to Catherine but she made it clear that her only interest was Gil. Her face lit up whenever he talked to her and her eyes followed his every movement. She scowled whenever Gil talked to Catherine. He stood up to get another cup of coffee. While he was gone, Catherine decided to try talking to the child. "You really like Grissom, don't you?"

Sara looked at her, "Yes." Her face betrayed no emotion.

"I can understand why you like him. He's a very nice man. We've been friends for a very long time. I know he's happy that you are his friend now. That makes me happy, because I want him to be happy. I also know it would make him happy if you and I could be friends too." Catherine was speaking quietly, calmly.

Sara looked at her somberly, "Okay. But he's my best friend."

"Well, he's pretty good at being a best friend, so you are a very lucky girl."

When Gil returned to the table, he noticed that the tension between Sara and Catherine was better. He sensed that a truce had been declared.

They drove Sara back to the Mueller's. Gil promised he would visit again in a few days. And Sara actually smiled at Catherine as they all said their good byes.

Back at Gil's place he asked, "So what did you think of her?"

"She's very attached to you. Gil, I'm worried. She's going to be hurt again."

He looked devastated. "I know. I've made things worse for her. I don't know what to do."

"Stay away from her for a few days. Talk to her caseworker and see what she says. But Gil, you can't just disappear from her life without an explanation. She's had too many people disappearing already."

"Yeah."

She headed back to her house. When she got home, she crashed on her couch and tried to think of a solution, which is exactly what Grissom was doing on his couch.


	16. Chapter 16

Jim Brass had decided it was time to show Glyn some of the scenery around Las Vegas. On Saturday when he suggested that they spend Sunday around Lake Meade and at the Hoover Dam, her response had been, "You mean to tell me that I'm not scenery enough for you?" He had proceeded to show her what he thought of her scenery.

He began by admiring the green pools that were eyes. From there he explored the mysteries of her mouth, using his tongue as his discovery tool. Her neck was his next stop on the tour and from there he traveled into the valley between the mountains. His hands went on a recon mission over the mountains with his exploration tool, the tongue, following right behind. After he had successfully scouted the twin peaks, his hands were sent on another mission to her mystic wetlands. Satisfied with the report from his hands that the marshes had flooded, his tongue ventured into the steamy lowland. His explorations were very productive as he was rewarded with the savory juices of her inner delights. Finally, after his tongue had exhausted its ability to research, he employed a larger, more qualified tool to penetrate her darkest secrets. And penetrate he did; delving deep into her core until it erupted sending waves of intense heat and pleasure through both of them. He collapsed on the bed beside her, too satisfied and exhausted to move. An equally satisfied voice spoke softly into his ear, "You missed your true calling; you should have been a tour guide." He smiled as he drifted off to sleep.

So early on Sunday, they set out for a day of sight seeing. It began with a breakfast cruise on the Desert Princess. Jim enjoyed watching her watch the changes in the colors of the water as the sun climbed higher in the sky. In fact, he enjoyed watching her do anything. He found that he was spending a lot of his time just simply observing her. Her radiant green eyes mesmerized him. Consequently, _he_ didn't see much of the landscape that surrounded them. After disembarking from the boat, they headed for the dam. Glyn was awed by its size as they drove across. Jim circled around and they found a place to park and walk it. As they reached the middle, she stopped to look down the canyon. "It's so beautiful, Jim. Are there any short trails we could walk? I'm enjoying being out of the city."

They found a trail nearby and started down. As they descended, Glyn slipped and fell backwards, knocking Jim down in the process. He slid into her, knocking her into a big rock just off the trail. She yelped as pain seared through her shoulder. "You okay?" he asked her.

"I think so. It just hurt when I hit the rock."

He stood, intending to help her up. But as she held his hand and started to rise her shoulder screamed painfully at the effort. Jim reached down and lifted her gently, trying not to jostle the shoulder. Carefully he pulled her shirt away to get a look at the damage. He was not happy about what he saw. "Come on," he grumbled, "we need to find you a doctor."

Jim was impatient at the Emergency Room. They weren't moving nearly fast enough to suit him. Glyn was in pain, he could tell, but trying not to let him see how much. He was holding her hand; the one attached to her good arm and again found himself lost in her gaze. He watched for signs of pain but found none. Instead he detected absolute trust. He was drawn into the depths of her emerald gems and surrounded by gentle warmth that he thought must have been a glimpse of heaven. She was comforted and comforting through the contact. His heart swelled with emotions for which there are no words and he knew that he was being given a magnificent gift. Everything that she was became his; her love, her trust, her passion…..her very soul belonged to him. He silently vowed that he would never do anything to make her regret it. He knew that that moment, the expression in her eyes, would be his source of strength for whatever else life had to throw at him. He wanted to stay there, in that instant for eternity.

Finally the doctor came in with his report. "Well, you dislocated it. That'll hurt to get it back in place but then shouldn't give you too much trouble, other than soreness." Jim was relieved. "But…" continued the doctor, "you also cracked the collar bone and have deep bruising in the humerus just below the shoulder. You'll need to keep the shoulder and arm immobile until the fracture and bruising has a chance to heal. Since the bones didn't actually separate, the recovery time should be just a few weeks. But you will be very sore for a few days."

Jim felt terrible. If he hadn't slid into her she would have been okay. The nurse brought in a pain subscription. An orthopedic assistant came in with a padded sling that he adjusted for her. Once he had her strapped in, the doctor returned to check on her. "Wear this all the time. Believe me, as uncomfortable as it is, it will feel better than going without it."

Glyn thanked him and Jim helped her stand. They headed for her house. Once she was settled in on her couch, he ran to get the prescription filled. Once back, he fixed them a late lunch. She took a pill and was asleep in minutes. Jim was miserable. Seeing her hurting so much pulled at his heart. He crept out of the room to call Gil and tell him that Glyn wouldn't be at work and why. By Gil's reaction, Jim knew that the cat was now out of the bag and soon everyone would know that he and Glyn had been dating. He made another call to let the station know that he wouldn't be there. Quietly he eased himself back on the couch, where he too fell asleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"So, Grissom….where's Glyn?" asked Greg as Gil headed into the nightly assignment gathering.

"What? Oh, Jim called and she fell and dislocated her shoulder. She's okay but very sore. I think she broke her collarbone too. Anyway, she's taking a few days off to heal."

"Wait….Jim called?" came from Catherine.

"Yes."

Catherine and Warrick exchanged knowing looks that the others caught.

"So….what?" blurted Greg.

"So, why did Jim call?" asked Catherine.

Grissom knew where this was headed and didn't really want to go there but thought the truth might be better than a night of speculation. "They had driven to Hoover Dam and she fell. He was with her so he was the one that called."

It was Nick's turn. "So….Glyn fell at the dam? And she was there with Jim?"

"I didn't know they were friends, even," chimed in Greg. "Wow, wonder what the detective's uncovered about Glyn?"

"Greg!" they all chided at once.

"Okay, can we get back to work, please?" Grissom began handing out the assignments.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Later that night Catherine poked her head around the corner to Grissom's office. "Gil?"

He looked up, easing his glasses off his face and setting them down on his desk; a sign that she was a welcome intrusion.

She ventured in closer and asked, "How about breakfast after we get off?"

"Sounds good. Where?"

"Your place. I'll bring the food."

"Okay. I'll see you then."

As she started for the door she saw him smiling and then shaking his head as he was sliding his glasses back on. Wonder what that was all about, she wondered.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Catherine showed up on his doorstep, groceries in hand. Gil let her in and took the bags from her as they walked to the kitchen. Following their breakfast ritual, the pans and bowls came out and the food prep was underway. Usually Catherine provided the small talk but this morning she seemed quiet. Gil wasn't sure what to make of that.

"So, Cath. What do you think is really going on between Jim and Glyn?' he ventured.

Catherine was surprised by his question. Grissom didn't usually engage in gossip. "I'm not sure exactly, but Warrick and I did see them in the parking lot one morning and they were pretty intense."

"Good intense?"

"Oh, yeah….." she sighed, a little jealous.

"Because he had told me awhile back that he was thinking of asking her out."

"Oh, I think they've been out together. And judging by the kiss I saw, I'd bet they've stayed in together too."

Gil shot her a slightly disapproving look but smiled just the same.

After they'd finished eating and gotten everything cleaned up, they settled in on his couch…another of their rituals. Finally Catherine mustered her nerve and began the conversation that she'd come here to have. "So Gil, I've been thinking…." She paused, feeling her courage leaving her.

"About what?"

"Sara Morris."

He eyed her suspiciously and sat quietly.

"And you. And I think I might have a solution. But I'm not sure you're ready to hear it."

"Why?"

"It would involve some big changes for you and you like everything all neat and organized."

"I like order in my life, yes." Her demeanor was making him really nervous.

"Okay, well…I'm just going to spit it out….but you need to pay attention and don't go nuts on me….."

"Catherine…." He was using his warning tone.

"Okay….here it is…..Gil, you need to, well damnit Gil, its time you got married."

Stunned doesn't adequately describe the condition of Gilbert Grissom at that moment. His jaw dropped, his eyes were wide open like a deer in the headlights, and his body was frozen. He wanted to speak but his mind couldn't muster words. Finally his heart started to beat again and his mind began to clear. How could she…why would she suggest such a thing? Doesn't she know that I'm still in love with Sara…..trying to get a life back? What can she be thinking? How dare she…..I don't want …." He was ranting to himself. And then his loneliness began to creep in. He had never really been lonely before but after Sara died, it seemed that loneliness had consumed him. A part of him was missing and he wanted desperately to feel whole again. He had gotten used to having someone to talk to after a long shift. Or just having someone there and words weren't necessary, just her presence gave him comfort. And having someone else to worry about, to need to be aware of where they were and what they were doing and know that they were worrying about him too. Knowing that he mattered to someone else. He missed those things. He ached for those feelings again.

Catherine watched his inner battle. She knew that her suggestion would rattle him. She hadn't realized how much. When she first thought of it, she thought he'd explode and spew and tell her to mind her own business. But watching him now, she thought he might cry.

His mind had disappeared into one of his trances. She waited for him to return. Regret was beginning to flood over her. It had been too much and now he was suffering. Just how close were they to marriage? She wondered.

Slowly his mind returned to the room. His eyes met her, floodwaters threatening to overflow. "Catherine, I don't…..why would…..I'm a mess right now. Who would….."

"Me." There, she'd said it.

He tilted his head slightly as his eyebrows furrowed. He studied her expression, looking for clues. All he saw was honesty. 'Why would you do that….I'm half dead. I have nothing to offer you and you deserve so much."

"Gil, we've been friends for a long time….good friends. You've always been there for me, even when I tried to make you go away. You've been the most steadfast, honest person in my life. You keep me balanced. You've been my biggest fan and at times my worst critic…..always pushing me to be a better person. And I like to think that I've tried to be there for you too. I don't always understand you and sometimes I give you grief but you're the best man I've ever known. We're good for each other. And I've tried the madly, passionately in love routine and I get burned every time. At times, I've felt sparks between us and I know you have too. But even if our relationship is only that we are best friends, well, a lot of good marriages are based on that. I'm tired of searching for some fantasy man that doesn't exist. I want a real man, and you are the most real, honest, and selfless man ever. And I think we could build a solid relationship. I know you're still in love with Sara and that you two had something special. I don't expect you to ignore that. But maybe, together, we would finally find some happiness. And with you married, fostering or even adopting Sara Morris becomes an option. She's good for you too. Seeing the two of you together, it's magic. You are good for each other. She deserves some happiness, someone in her life to take care of her and love her….show her that there is goodness in this world. And that someone is you. So that's why I'm asking you to marry me."

He sat quietly; too quietly for Catherine's comfort. She could tell that he was slowly digesting her words, trying to understand their meaning. He didn't look terrified, or sad, or well, anything really. His face was blank. His eyes were wide, childlike almost. The blue, intense and bright. If he looked anything, he looked lost.

Finally, he spoke again. "Cath, I can't seem to focus, to think….I understand what you're saying, I think. I just can't seem to grasp it. Could…..can we talk about this later? Come back to it later?"

"Sure, Gil….later." But she didn't believe he would ever bring it up.

She stood to leave and that seemed to shake him out of his daze. He stood too. His mind was still in a fog but an idea wormed its way through. "Cath?"

"Yes."

I'm new to all of this, but when a man and a woman discuss marriage, isn't there a kiss involved?"

"Well, Gil, one person discussed marriage. The woman. The man, as usual avoided the conversation by putting it off til later. But, what the hell……sure." This has got to be the most unromantic moment of my life, she thought.

He edged closer to her and leaned in. His lips were tentative at first, unsure of her response. Slowly he coaxed her lips open and slipped his inside. She felt like an electric shock ran from her mouth to the tips of her toes and then up her spine. His tongue was gentle, but insistent. He circled her tongue, teasing and exploring. She felt her knees weakening as heat waves crawled up her body. A small moan slipped out of her. She felt him catch his breath and then he slowly began to exit, his lips lingering on hers before finally losing contact. She looked up, expecting to see blue looking back at her. But his eyes were closed. There was serenity in his countenance that she had never witnessed before. She was afraid to move, afraid to break the spell.

"Honestly, Cath, I need to think. It would crush me if you were hurt. We _will_ continue this discussion after I have a chance to clear my head."

She left in a daze. Damn, she thought as she climbed into her car, Geeks aren't supposed to kiss that good.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Grissom was nervous as he entered the lab that night. He wasn't sure how to act around Catherine. Should he say anything? Should he act like nothing happened? How is she going to act toward him? All these questions and more were running through his mind, so much so that he ran right into her in the hallway. "Ah, sorry Catherine," he was embarrassed.

"So where's your mind tonight, Bugman?" she smiled.

Swallowing was difficult but he managed one. "I think you know."

Her eyes softened. "Gil, I didn't mean to upset you like this. If it's too much…."

His heart was racing and his mind was foggy again. "No, I ……we'll talk later, not here. Cath….I …."

"Grissom!" Ecklie's voice erupted from the end of the hall.

He sighed deeply. "Later, Cath….we'll talk." He turned and walked toward the perpetual thorn in his side.

"Now what, Conrad?" he barked with disdain.

Catherine walked away, smiling at his continuing battle with politics.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a busy night. All the CSIs were swamped. It seemed that the entire criminal population of Vegas was active. The criminalist's shift turned into two shifts and by the afternoon on Tuesday they all were dragging. Finally they were getting some breaks in their cases and all were preparing to go home and grab some sleep before the next shift in just a few hours. Gil was straightening the folders on his desk when Jim strolled in.

"Gil…..How ya doing?"

"Jim. You're working?"

"Yeah, they called me in this morning. Too many crooks, not enough cops. So here I am."

"Jim, I was just leaving. You don't have a case for me?"

"No, but I do need to talk to you for a minute…..if you've got time?"

"Yeah, just close the door. Maybe nobody will realize I'm still here. Have a seat."

Jim closed his door and then settled into the chair across from him. He took a deep breath and seemed to be reconsidering this visit.

"How's Glyn?" Gil started.

"Fine, getting restless. I'm sure she'll be back soon whether the doctor likes it or not."

"Good, we miss her. But Jim, _how's Glyn_ and how are you?"

His smile started in his eyes and grew until it encompassed his entire face. Grissom thought he knew every expression in Jim's repertoire, but here was a new one…pure sap. He chuckled to himself as he realized just how far gone his friend was.

"She's fantastic and Gil, I….just….can't….help….myself." Gil thought he had the goofiest look ever. "I have to remember to breathe when she walks into the room. And my new favorite hobby seems to be watching her. We spend almost all our spare time together and it just never seems like enough. I admit it, I'm obsessed."

Gil had his head tilted but he straightened it and sat up in his chair. Softly, almost tenderly he commented, "you've got it bad, my friend."

"Yeah. I do. So bad that I'm thinking of popping the question. So, what do ya think, is it fair for a washed out old pig like me to ask an angel to spend the rest of his life with him? Thing is, well you know what my life has been like these past few years….and now there's this beautiful creature that seems to see something in me, something that I thought died a long time ago. But….." he drifted off into his thoughts.

Gil picked up on the worry behind his words. "Well, Jim, if she thought you were a washed out old pig, she'd never have gone out with you. But she's still there. We're two guys who for a very long time have had nothing but our jobs. I don't know about you, but lately, the job just isn't enough for me anymore. So, if you're asking for my advice, well….there's a brass ring dangling in front of you and if I were in your shoes, I'd grab it and hold on as tight as I possibly could."

Jim studied his friend's face. Gil had been through enough the last few months to know and understand what Jim was afraid of. Sara had been years younger too and Gil had to have wondered why she wanted him. Yeah, he was speaking from experience, Jim decided.

Gil was lost in his own thoughts. Sara had opened him up to so many possibilities, feelings he never knew he was capable of. And then she was gone. And now, he was being offered another chance. Why was he fighting it so hard?

Suddenly Jim seemed energized. "Well then, I have some shopping to do." He almost jumped out of his chair. "Wish me luck?"

Looking at the detective, Gil was really happy for him. He deserved happiness and maybe with Glyn, he would finally have it. "Of course, Jim. And as fantastic as Glyn is, she's a lucky woman."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

By Wednesday night the entire team was dragging. They had been slammed and as soon as one case would clear, another popped up. Consequently, Gil and Catherine had not been able to continue their conversation. He was walking into the lab as she was leaving, when he stopped her. "Catherine, got a minute?"

Startled, she followed him into his office. "Close the door," he said.

She closed it and leaned against it, more because she was tired than anything.

"We haven't had a chance to talk…." He began. Her eyes were focused on his. "And I didn't want you to think I'm ignoring it."

"I know, Gil. It's been a killer week. It's okay."

"Breakfast Saturday?" His eyes were almost pleading.

"Of course." She tossed him a quick smile as she turned to leave.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

On Friday Gil told Catherine that he's planned a breakfast out. No cooking for either of them. It's been a hard week and they deserved to relax. She bought his story and planned a change of clothes for the breakfast date.

Saturday morning Gil drove them to the strip and then led her toward the launch site for the balloon rides.

"Where are you taking me, Gil?"

"Don't have to walk much farther, I promise."

He led her to the smaller balloon, which was already inflated. The pilot saw them coming and helped Catherine into the basket. Gil climbed in behind.

"Ready?" asked the pilot.

Gil nodded. Catherine was looking around. "Where are the tethers?" she asked.

"No tethers Catherine. We're going up."

The ride was a beautiful one. They were high over the city and then began heading toward the lake. Both were seeing Vegas in a totally new way. Things got a little bumpy and Gil took the opportunity to hold her but never made a move beyond that. Catherine was perplexed. What in the world is he up to, she wondered. This was totally un-Gil like.

The ride concluded as the balloon settled into a landing spot near the lake. After helping Catherine out of the basket, Gil led her away. "Gil, how do we get home? And where's my breakfast? I'm hungry."

"Not going home. Not yet anyway. And Breakfast is next," he said.

"Why's that limo over there, Gil? We're the only ones here."

"It seems we are." He replied as he led her to the limo. They climbed in and the car began moving. Once settled, Gil turned to her. "Having a good time?" His eyes were sparkling. Mischief was written all over his face.

"Yes, I am. But where's my breakfast?"

The limo pulled up to the dock for the paddle wheelers. Once on the boat, they found the breakfast buffet and chose a table away from the crowd. She was still trying to figure him out. What had gotten into him?

"The clues are all around you, Catherine. Follow the evidence."

Damn, he reads me so well. "What are you talking about, Gil? I'm not up for one of your puzzles."

"Cath….soaring, no tethers….romantic champagne breakfast, limo….doesn't that suggest _something _to you?"

Oh God, I'm stupid, she chastised herself. Her eyes grew wide as the implications set in. And now she had ruined it, for both of them.

"Catherine, I've given a lot of thought to your…suggestion. I still don't understand why you think this is good for you, but ….I know this much; if we're going to talk about a lifetime together, I want it to be about us. I want you to know that whatever else comes our way, You Catherine will always be first. I don't want our relationship to be about Sara Morris. And while we've known each other for years, we've never dated. I think we need to explore that side of things. If we do marry, I don't want half of a marriage….I want it all."

Catherine was speechless. Did he just say what I thought he said? I'm dreaming….

He continued, "I want a courtship. At least a short one."

She was studying his face. Yes, he's serious. He did just say all that. A courtship? What is that all about? Her eyes settled on his lips as she remembered his kiss the other night.

He was studying her face as well, especially her lips. He leaned toward her, his hands sliding up her cheek. Their lips met, gently at first. Slowly their lips parted and their tongues began to explore. Her hand found the back of his neck, her fingers intertwining with his curls. She felt his desire in the kiss, something that surprised her totally. She knew the fantasies she's gone to sleep with over the years, but was not expecting the same feelings from him. Once again he slowly disengaged from her mouth, lingering on her lips before settling back in his chair. His eyes were glittering, as were hers. For a moment they were in their own world. "Does that answer your question?" he smiled.

"Courtship?'

"Yes."

"I've never been 'courted' before. I've dated, but….."

"And now you're going to be courted. I'm going to 'woo' you, my dear. It will do you no good to resist. You're going to be treated as you should be, with adoration, honor and respect."

"Gil, where is all this coming from?"

"I've watched you all these years Cath, and you're always undervaluing yourself with men. Remember when I was so upset with you over the Novack case? I hated that he hurt you like he did…I was so angry that you put yourself in that position. You said it was an accident but it never should have happened. It's like you don't think you deserve to be treated better. You're smart, fun, caring, honest, and unbelievably sexy. You deserve to be cherished, not abused. And if nothing else comes of this, I'm going to prove that to you."

As she listened, she felt ashamed. He was right. From Eddie, to Chris, to Novack and all the men in between, she had set herself up to get used. And everytime Gil had been there to help her pick up the pieces. She knew he wasn't pleased with her behavior and sometimes was outright pissed, but it never stopped him form being there. How could she expect him to see her as anything but easy, the way other men saw her. But he never treated her that way. Always, he saw something better in her. She remembered when they had first met and he watched her dance. He never looked at her the way other men did. When he was there, she'd pretend that he was the only one in the room and she was dancing for him. Others might look at her with lecherous eyes, but his expression never reflected such thoughts. In fact, he tended to watch her eyes more than her body. Had he been in love with her back then? How could she have missed that? Was it possible that maybe he still felt that way about her; after all of her screw ups over the years?

The boat docked and the two made their way back to the limo. He sat next to her. "So, tonight….dinner?"

"Of course."

"Wear something nice, we'll go someplace special."

She smiled at how easy this seemed for him. Gil was never at ease about social situations. She had noticed over the years that he never went out with the same person more than a couple of times, except probably Sara of course. She had always assumed that once the ladies got past the initial fascination that all women seemed to experience about him, they got tired of his ineptness. Now she was beginning to wonder if he wasn't the limiting his exposure.

He was watching her as she thought. She was someplace far away. He slid his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. "You're very far away," he whispered.

"Just thinking about all the times you picked me up and put me back together."

'Cath, you did the work. I was just there to help."

"Maybe, but you were there….like no one else has ever been for me. I'm not sure I always appreciated how important you are to me."

"As you are to me, Cath. You're the only one that picked up on my hearing loss, and you were there for the surgery. And whenever things were bad….on cases, or with Ecklie, or me just having a bad day. And you encouraged me about Sara and then were there when she died. I couldn't have made it without you, you know."

Her hand found his and he lifted it to his lips, gently kissing it before returning it to her. Their eyes met and once again they found themselves kissing. His lips left hers to find her neck. He nibbled his way up to her ear. Then he stopped for a moment, drawing a deep breath. "Catherine, do you have any idea what you have been doing to me all these years?"

She blinked. What did he say? All these years? "What have I done to you?'

"Well, there's the way you've teased me with that great tush of yours. You put extra wiggle in it, didn't you…everytime you were in front of me." He was teasing her with his eyes as he talked. "And when you were dancing, it felt like you were dancing for me. I'd sit there, desperately trying to keep things under control, and after you married Eddie I'd be sitting there with him." His expression grew dark. "I hated him. It sickened me the way he treated you. I had to stop coming to your shows because I was afraid I'd kill him. Remember your eval last year and we were talking about how you found out Sam Braun was your father? And then you told me about his check? Later that night, you were heading out for unfinished business. I was with Sara then but I wanted to be your unfinished business so bad that it hurt." He kissed her again, deeply and very passionately.

"I had no idea, Gil. Why didn't you ever say anything….do anything?"

'"Never the right time. You were with Eddie, and then you were getting over Eddie, and then he died. And there were those other guys….and then there was Sara."

They were back in the city now and closing in on the lot where he had parked. "But that's all in the past, Cath. Let's try to focus on the future."

He drove her home. Her hand rested on his thigh the whole way except when he took it to nibble. He walked her to the door and gently kissed her. "I'll pick you up at seven." And then he was gone. "Wow," exhaled Catherine. "Where did he come from?"


	17. Chapter 17

After a few hours sleep, Catherine spent the afternoon pampering herself in preparation for the evening. After a steamy, relaxing bath, she freshened up her nails and then went to her closet in search of a dress. Finally she decided on her most recent purchase. Gil had never seen it before and her mind raced with anticipation of his response. It was sapphire blue with long sleek lines, the neckline taking quite a plunge that hinted at but didn't quite show her breasts. It was skin tight in all the right places and forgiving in others. She liked what the color did for her eyes too.

Lindsey hung around for some of the primping and seemed to be all excited that 'Uncle Gil' had asked her out. "He's so much better than some of those other guys you've gone out with, Mom. A little weird, but he's nice. And he treats you nice."

Catherine thought about Lindsey's words. They reminded her of what Gil had said that morning. Even Lindsey could see that she was constantly attracted to the wrong type. Well, maybe that's changing, she thought.

She eyed herself in the mirror, pleased with her choice. Catherine girl, you are hot! She heard Lindsey opening the door and headed down to meet her date. Gil was standing just inside the door. Catherine paused for a minute on the steps, savoring this moment. Lindsey was talking to him but that's not where her attention was directed. He was wearing his dark blue suit with a crisp white shirt and a steel blue/grey tie and pocket kerchief. The clothing combination set off his always brilliant blue eyes and the grey that had been slowly taking over his hair. His beard was freshly trimmed giving him a roguish look that she liked. God, he's gorgeous, she mumbled. She felt a flush of heat crawl through her body as her eyes drank him in. What that man does for a suit! Slowly she continued toward the pair.

"Gil…"

His eyes grew wide as she approached, approval written all over his face. She watched as he took in her dress, from the hem all the way to her shoulders; his face flushing a little as his eyes found her neckline. "Catherine?" he smiled as his eyes found hers. "You look lovely." His voice seemed to have a little catch in it. "I have something for you. When I found it, I thought of your eyes, but I think it will go with your dress very nicely." He handed her a small box with a blue bow.

Her hands shook as she took it from him and lifted the top. "Oh, Gil….it's beautiful" she gasped.

"What is it, Mom? Let me see, let me see."

Her hand still shaking, she lifted a small gold chain until Lindsey could see the pendant. It was an oval shaped star sapphire surrounded by diamond chips. "Gil, this is…..I don't know what to say; it is so beautiful. It's too much though….you shouldn't have…."

He looked in Lindsey's direction and for once the child got the hint. "You guys have fun," she said. "Night, Uncle Gil." Then she disappeared up the steps.

"Catherine, I bought that a long time ago for you….but there never seemed to be a good time to give it to you. So, I thought tonight should be the night."

"You've had this a long time?" Tears were threatening behind her eyes.

The blue of his eyes bored into hers. "Yes, I was at a conference and saw it at one of the shops down the street. It just looked like you and I knew I wanted you to have it. So I bought it."

She held it up to him, "Help me with the clasp?"

He took it as she turned to offer her neck. He gingerly put it on her and fastened the clasp. His hands lingered on her shoulders as he finished. Very tenderly he kissed her neck, his lips lingering for just a moment. She turned to find him watching her intently. Her hand instinctively went to the new pendant. "How does it look?"

"Not nearly as beautiful as the wearer." His gaze never left her face. Suddenly he seemed to collect himself, "Shall we go?"

Once outside, he offered his arm which she took as they walked to his car. He opened her door and saw that she was settled in before moving around to his side of the car, Catherine's eyes following him the entire time, marveling at this new Gil. Oh, she'd seen him in suits before, even a tux from time to time, but tonight his whole demeanor was different. She knew he had the ability to be charming; she'd witnessed that too on occasion when he needed to get information out of unwilling witnesses. Why had he so carefully hidden this side of himself for so long?

After some research, Gil had chosen a new restaurant near Summerlin. It was highly rated and it had a dance floor. Once they were seated, they ordered cocktails while they studied the menu. The drinks were delivered and their orders received when Gil found the courage to ask her to dance. Of course Catherine accepted and he led her to the floor.

Gil loved the way she felt in his arms. Her body matched itself to his as she blended into his rhythm. As his legs moved, hers did to; the subtle contact sending currents through him. At first, he tried not to hold her too close but she quickly made her intentions clear as she eased into him. Before long her head was on his shoulder, her hand behind his neck, teasing his hairline. His head found its way to her neck, his mouth nibbling just below her ear. By the time the next song began he was totally lost in her sensuality.

Catherine was giving herself over to the flood of sensations running through her body. His hand was resting at the small of her back; its presence sending tingles through all of her nerve endings. Her head on his shoulder, she felt his heartbeat and was soothed by it. And his kisses and nibbles on her neck made her yearn for more intimate contact. Slowly, she became aware of eyes watching them. There were others dancing, but many of those that were seated were watching the pair. "Gil…."

"Hmmmm." His attention was still on her neck.

"People are watching us."

"Watching you," he breathed before returning to an especially interesting freckle he had discovered.

"No, watching you make out with me…" she chuckled.

"No, all the men are envious because I'm dancing with the most beautiful woman in the room. And all the women are jealous because you are the most beautiful woman in the room and their men can't take their eyes off of you."

"Gil, you really need to stop what you are doing," she said as she let out a small gasp. He had discovered a particularly sensitive spot near her collarbone.

"Why? I like what I am doing. You have a beautiful neck, you know. So long and lovely. I especially like this spot." He nibbled to show her.

She squirmed as his ministrations sent shocks through her again. "Really, Gil….you need to stop." She pulled away slightly to emphasize her statement.

Awareness overtook him as she moved a way. He glanced around as her words sank in. "Sorry, Cath," he said, a little flushed. "I was just caught up in your spell."

She smiled and snuggled back in. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the effect her motion had on him. "You're enchanting, you know…..always so beautiful, and tonight in that dress, well….you're very enticing."

"You look pretty delicious yourself."

"Thank you, but tonight is about you. No more talk about me."

"Gil…."

"In fact, no more talking. You've cast your spell and I can't think clearly. You're a temptress, Catherine, and I need to try to keep my wits about me. I'm afraid I've lost already though, and I'm completely at your mercy." He was teasing her now, but he also knew the truth of his words.

So they danced, through that number and one more before they spotted their dinner being carried to their table. Catherine talked quietly as they ate with Gil saying little. That wasn't surprising; Gil rarely talked over their meals, but was contented to listen to her.

They had finished and he was contemplating asking her to dance again when the waiter brought two glasses of champagne. "Ah, we didn't order this," Gil said.

"No, sir. Compliments from the elderly couple across the floor."

The pair looked across, locating the table and nodded. Suddenly Gil was standing with his flute in hand, "Come on…"

Catherine stood and walked with him as he made his way across. Arriving at the targeted table, he smiled at them. "Hi, I'm Gil and this is Catherine. Thank you for the champagne."

"I'm Pete and this is my bride of 50 years, Sadie. We were watching you two dancing and it reminded us of ourselves, many years ago." He looked across at Sadie and smiled. She was watching him, years of love and care in her expression. "We just wanted to share in your evening, a little. I hope you don't mind the intrusion.."

"Not at all," answered Gil. "Would you join us in a toast?"

Pete and Sadie smiled as he responded, "If I may have the honor…." Gil smiled and nodded his agreement. Pete lifted his glass, "To the women in our lives and everlasting love." Four glasses clinked and then each sipped. Gil turned to Sadie, "May I have the honor of this dance? If Pete doesn't mind, of course."

As Gil led Sadie to the floor, Catherine slid into her chair. "That's very nice of Gil to dance with my Sadie," said Pete. "We used to dance all night; she was always a good dancer and enjoyed it so much. But my knees just can't take it anymore."

"You here on vacation?" Asked Catherine.

"Fifth Honeymoon. We take a honeymoon every ten years. This will be out last one, I'm afraid. Even if we are still around for the next one, we'll just be too old. But I'm not complaining. I have a lifetime of memories ….I'm a lucky man."

"Well, I think Sadie might say she's a lucky woman too."

"Fifty years with the woman of my dreams….. How long you and Gil been together?"

"Well, we've got a long way to go to catch you and Sadie. But I don't know what I'd do without him. He…….." she tried to find the right words but nothing seemed adequate.

"Completes you," offered Pete.

"Yes, that's it exactly." She smiled.

Gil and Sadie were making their way back to the table. Catherine stood and Sadie settled in her chair. "Thank you for a lovely dance, Sadie." Then Gil turned to Pete, "and thank you for sharing her with me. I feel like the luckiest man in the room because I got to dance with the two most beautiful ladies."

Gil and Catherine made their way back to their table. They sat for a minute and then he asked her to dance. Back on the floor, he gathered her in as their bodies picked up the rhythm. Their faces moved toward each other and his cheek brushed the side of her head.

"You're doing it again," he whispered.

"What?"

"Drawing me into your web. Bewitching me." His lips were moving down her cheek and headed for his favorite freckle again.

"Gil, ah…" a little gasp escaped her. "You're doing it again.'

"All your fault…." He'd found his target.

"Gil….behave," she giggled.

His head popped up; smiling he teased, "Make me?"

The music ended and they headed back to the table. He signaled for the check and settled the bill. They walked to the car, arm in arm. Her mind was reeling….who would believe he would act like that…..teasing her, so amorous…erotic almost. When they reached the car, he reached to open her door. She stepped closer to get in but his hand caught her waist. He turned her to face him and his mouth was on hers. Nothing was held back in his kiss. All the pent up emotions, desires, craving fueled it. His tongue was gentle at first but as his fervor grew, so did its intensity. Her hands moved up to work their way into his hair, caressing and demanding at the same time. His hands were resting on her back, at the base of her spine. Slowly his right hand moved up her back, massaging and squeezing until his hand found her neck. He pulled her closer, holding her tight against him. She felt the hardness of his arousal and her body responded, pressing into it. Suddenly he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. He fought to corral his feelings and catch his breath. "Gil?" she whispered.

His eyes were closed and he was still fighting for control. "Catherine, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…I was just going to kiss you but I lost it. Went too far…"

Too far? Is he kidding? Seemed like we were just getting started…. What's with him? "It's alright. You didn't go too far. I'm alright…."

"No, its not. I never want to treat you like that ...you're a lady and I don't want to make you feel like anything less. I'm sorry." He released her and motioned toward the car. She climbed in and he shut her door. He took a deep breath and then walked around to his side to get in. As he drove to her house, she slid her hand over and rested it on his thigh. His hand found hers and he brought it to his lips where he kissed it. Then he put her hand back into her lap, withdrawing his. At her door, he finally spoke again. "Thank you Catherine, for a very memorable evening." He leaned in for a quick, almost chaste kiss and then was gone.

After changing and removing her make up, she turned on the tv and found some old movie. Her mind couldn't quite grasp his behavior. Passion had almost overtaken him. She had suspected that under his cool exterior, there was fire. Why had he stopped himself? Every other man would have….but he wasn't every other man; he was Gil and he had his own code. What had she gotten herself into? As complicated and confusing as he is a friend, how much more will he be as a lover? She wondered.

Her reverie was broken by the sound of her phone. "Willows…"

"Cath…" She detected anxiety in his voice.

"Gil?"

"I really enjoyed tonight. I hope you did too." He was sounding better.

"It was a perfect evening. Only one thing missing."

"I'm glad you had a good time….but what was missing."

"You….at the end of my night; in my bed." Her voice had taken on a carnal quality.

She heard his intake of air. "Cath…. I thought I explained….."

"You did, but that's how I feel. You were so warm and now I'm lonely without you."

The pause was intense. Finally he spoke, "Yeah, me too but…. "

"There so many things I want to do to you, Gil. Run my hands over you, find your special spots, kiss you, …." Her voice was betraying the nature of her thoughts.

"Catherine," he interrupted. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"So many things…..but not all at once." She taunted.

"I, ah …. I have to go."

'Have to go? Where? What is it you need to do, Gil?"

'Catherine!" He warned.

"You hungry, Gil….because suddenly I am very hungry."

"What?"

"I'm hungry. All that dancing and, well….other stuff, made me hungry. Yeah, suddenly I'm craving a hot dog. You have a hot dog, Gil?" She had decided to have a little fun and was in full tease mode.

"Hot Dog? Why do you…..oh"

"I love hot dogs. I like to lick them, lick all the mustard off." She made licking sounds with her tongue. "And then I like to suck on the end." More sound effects. "Sometimes I can get the whole thing in my mouth, you know? And then I nibble, squeezing out the juices. Those juices are soooo good."

"God, Cath…." He was almost pleading. She sensed his unrest at the other end of the call.

"But maybe I don't want a hot dog….maybe a sucker. Yeah, a _big_ one. That way I can work on it all night; licking and sucking….and biting…..until its all gone."She was smacking her lips. "You have anything like that Gil? Something I could suck on all night?"

"I never realized that you were so wanton before Catherine." He was teasing now.

"Me… well yeah, right now I am wanting…my bed is cold, Gil."

"Mine too."

"So why are we in cold beds, Gil?

"Because as much as I'd like to be warming your bed, I don't want our relationship to be about sex."

"No sex? Gil…." She was appalled.

"Not yet, Cath. Cold showers help if it's a problem."

"How do you know?'

"Because, my lovely seductress, I've been taking them since the day I met you. He paused and then continued, "Breakfast in the morning?"

"Always."


	18. Chapter 18

As was the ritual, Catherine showed up on Grissom's doorstep at 9:00 am for breakfast. He was in his kitchen, preparing his special omletes for them. When he heard her at the door, he called out to her to come in. She wandered into his space, watching him as he flipped the eggs. Then she went into her screwdriver making mode. By the time the drinks were ready he was serving up their plates, which he carried to the table. They settled in for the meal. As Catherine watched him, she thought he seemed unusally quiet and pensive. _Wonder what he's thinking?_ she mused to herself. But to be fair, she wasn't feeling especially talkative either. So they ate in an almost comfortable quiet.

Gil was unusually pensive. He hadn't slept well at all. He tossed all night trying to decide what should come next. He'd intended to play out a mini courtship but his emotions were getting ahead of him. Jim's declaration of his intentions had only made things worse. So much of what Jim had said had hit home with Gil. Why would Catherine want him? They had danced around each other for years but never seemed to quite connect. And then with all that he'd gone through with Sara, he wasn't sure he would be good for Catherine. But if he hadn't been with Sara, he doubted that he would have ever opened himself to his true feelings for Catherine. She seemed to want something more from him than just friendship. And judging by her responses to him physically the last few days, he knew that there wouldn't be a problem with that side of the relationship. But would he ever be able t o open himself to her enough? She already knew him better than anyone else...she had spent years figuring him out. And even when she didn't understand him, she still stuck with him. But would that be enough or would she get tired of his reticence? He needed her; of that he had no doubt. And he loved her...had for years. He just never thought he stood a chance with her. She was everything he was not. She was open...out there, engaging, warm, people savy, and fearless. People knowing him scared him, as did all the emotions associated with them. He knew he came across as cold and unfeeling much of the time; he had carefully built that image. And he had long ago hung out the 'closed' sign. Catherine had ignored it though. She never let him get away with it. It always infuriated him and made him love her that much more. And he was at a point in his life where he had to admit to himself that he was, for the first time, very lonely. He watched couples with envy, something that never occurred to him before. He wanted people, a select few people, in his life. He wanted to be close to someone...wanted to love and be loved. His work wasn't enough, he needed more. So why the hell was he playing this stupid game? Why didn't he just tell her how he felt?

Catherine was thinking about last night. He had been so amourous at times and then retreating and hiding behind his rules of courtship. She knew the whole idea of relationships scared him. She had marveled after his relationship with Sara had been revealed. How had she broken through all his defenses? Catherine had watched Gil deftly avoid serious human contact for years. She knew that she had been given liberties that no one else enjoyed. One of the most obvious had been his gradual acceptance of her touch. Everyone who knew Grissom knew that he didn't like to be touched. But Catherine often patted his arm, touched his shoulder, even occassionally hugged him. And he never flinched or shied away from her. So what was this new game about? Was he testing her? Or is it just more Grissom mystique? She really didn't know what to think. But if he didn't let nature take its course soon, she was going to take matters in her own hands. She liked to tease as much as anyone, but he was driving her mad.

After finishing the meal they moved to his couch. Habit was taking over. Usually Catherine would lauch into small talk at this point but she didin't feel like small talk today. So she sat with her feet on the couch and her head propped on her knees. Gil snuck a look at her face and decided that he needed to take the lead. T_ime to quit being a coward_, he told himself.

"Catherine..."

She looked at him. His eyes wouldn't quite meet hers. He seemed to have something important to say but was struggling with it. So she tried to stay nuetral and calm. She knew better than to jump in.

"Catherine, I can't do this anymore." Oaky, he thought, you got it started...

"Do what, Gil?" What was he getting at? Did he want things back the way they were before? She had pushed him too far with her proposal...

"Courtship..." his eyes slowly made their way to hers, fear was rampant. "Last night was too much ...trying to keep what I feel, well...under control. I can't do that anymore. I love you, Catherine. I've loved you for so long and never dreamed you might have similiar feelings for me. But these past few days, I think you do...maybe. I'm tired of being alone, Catherine. I want to have someone in my life...and that someone is you. Please say you love me, Catherine...even if it is just a little."

"Gil...why are you so afraid? You know I love you. After Eddie, well...I'd hoped maybe you and I would...but then it didn't happen and so I tried dating other men. But it never worked...never stood a chance; they weren't you. I've spent most nights going to bed and dreaming that you were there, wanting you there...needing you. And now you tell me that you've felt the same... I feel like such an idiot. If only I'd done something sooner..."

"I'm the idiot Catherine..." And then he slid off the couch on to one knee in front of her.He took her left hand and gently kissed it. Then he slid a ring on her finger as he spoke, "Catherine, you are the light of my life, you brighten my darkest moments, give me balance when I'm unsteady, kick me when I'm being dense. You make me step outside my bubble and participate in the world.You are smart, caring, beautiful, sexy and I've loved you from the first time I met you and I want you with me for the rest of my life. Catherine, Please marry me?"

She couldn't belive what he was saying. All the years she had wanted to hear those words from him. How long ago had she given up on it ever happening? And now...here he is on his knee

Gil took her silence badly. His face changed from a mix of fear and hope to total despair. Physically he began to withdraw. Catherine snapped out of her stunned state and quickly blurted out, "Yes! Of course..."

His eyes met hers...joy overtaking his expression. His mouth was on hers in a flash. His kiss grew from exhuberance to passion almost as quickly. All of his senses were concentrated in the kiss as he lost himself in the warmth of her reception. She was taken by surprise and felt almost overwhelmed by him. Never had she suspected that he was capable of that kind of release. She felt all his years of desire and frustration. And she matched them. Slowly he came up for air. He slid up next to her and wrapped her in his arms, holding her tightly as if she might escape. "Really? You really mean it...if you want to change your mind do it now because I won't let you later."

"No, no changing my mind. I mean yes, Gil. You're stuck with me. But...can I look at the ring now?"

He loosened his grip just enough for her to pull her hand out. She held it up to admire the ring. The stone was a mate to the necklace he had given her, on a larger scale. Another star sapphire that was surrounded by small diamonds. Diamond chips sat on the band. The diamonds and the star in the blue gem seemed to play off each other. "Gil...how long have you had this ring?"

"I bought it when I bought the necklace...right after you gave up on Eddie." He watched her face for a reaction.

She turned to him and studyed his face. Complete honesty was mixed with longing. "All this time..." She kissed him. Her lips felt warm and welcoming to him. He'd wanted those lips for so long and now...

The kiss grew more intense as each open themelves to the explorations of the other. He could see her face flush with desire as she felt the heat rise within him. Reluctantly he pulled away from her lips and travelled down to her neck where he began to kiss and nibble. Her head went back and a deep sigh escaped heras she succumbed to his attention. Her breathing grew deeper and heavier. Her chest rose more with each intake of air. This didn't go unnoticed by him. His tongue travelled to her clevege as his hands made their way down her side to rest beside her breasts. "Ah, Gil...is this where our realtionship becomes sexual? Please say yes..."

He eased her back on the couch until she way lying down. He slowly raised her top to expose her abdomen, which he prompty began to nuzzle and kiss. This elicited a groan form her. Her hands found his his head and she began to run her fingers through his curls. The they slid down on either side of his face.

He stood and held out his hands to help her up.She stood, her hands finding his chest. He kissed her again as she reached beneath his shirt and found skin. _Oh God, he feels so good_, she thought. His breathing took on a heavier quality as he worked her top over her head to expose a very dainty, lacy blue bra. "Blue is your best color, Cath."

His hands cupped her breasts with his thumbs caressing the lace. He watched her face, happy with her reaction. Her hands found his buttons and soon his shirt was off as well. Her lips found his nipples and she began to lick and tease. His sharp intake of breath told her that he was enjoying her exertion. He found her clasps and her breasts were set free. As her bra slid down, his eyes widened at his view. "Cath," his voice was husky, "you ..." his eyes crept from her breasts to her eyes and then back. "You are so..." he gave up on words. He put his hands on either side of her face. HIs blue eyes looked directly into hers with the intensity of his feelings boring into her. Slowly, reverently his hands moved down beside her neck, his fingers caressing...pulling her into a kiss. This kiss was filled with awe. Slowly his hands moved to her breasts, cupping them tenderly, timidly. His lips soon followed. Circling her nipples with his tongue, he felt them harden. The reverbarations in her body told him that she was enjoying this. Stepping away, he took her hand and led her to his bedroom. There they lost the rest of their clothes and were soon on the bed. She was laying down and he was sitting over her, admiring all that he saw. She was doing some admiring of her own. He leaned up to kiss her and then began working down her body. Once again he found her nipples and teased her. Her hands were exploring him and found his ass. She'd wanted that ass for so long and now she had every intention of thoroughly checking it out. His reaction was imediate and hard for her to ignore, since it was pressing into her thigh.

She began to rub his cock with her thigh, moving it slightly to encourage his density. A deep, lusty groan escaped him. He tried to lean into her to still her motion but she didn't give up. HIs hand moved to her wet mound, which was very wet by now. She raised her hips to meet his hand. His fingers found their way between her folds and he began a massage that was gentle but very salacious. He eventually found her clit which he began to tease. His reward came as her juices flowed over his fingers.

Her hands were not quiet either. She found his rod and encircled it with her hand. Just her touch almost sent him over the edge. She used her thumb to stroke his head, finding his hot spot and working it. "Catherine, slow down..."

"And if I don't want to?"

"Then you'd better be ready..."

"I've been waiting for you for years..."

He needed no more encouragement. He was over her, his tool slowly finding its way between her legs. Again she rose to meet him. He found his way into her, pushing deep. Again her hands found his ass and she was squeezing and kneading. He went deeper, her hands pushing him more. Slowly he began to pull out, almost all the way out. She didn't let him stay there, but pushed him in again. He stroked her a few times, each time her reaction more intense. He loved the way she felt around him. Her warmth, the tightness of her, the way he fit inside her. He fought to keep himslef under control but he knew he was losing the battle. Suddenly he felt her squeezing his cock with her inner muscles and he knew she was coming. He began to pump now, with determination. His strokes were coming faster and with more intensity. She tightened around him more and he felt the warmth of her juices as they flowed more freely. Her fingers clawed his cheeks and she moaned his name as ecstacy overtook her. He couldn't hold on any longer. He exploded inside her, wave after wave of ejaculate firing into her depths, eliciting small gasps from her. All of his nerves were tingling. In all his dreams and fantasies he'd never imagined this. Everything felt so much more intense with her. But then he'd spent almost twenty years waiting too...

He eased down beside her, his hands gently rubbing her; his need to touch her still acute.Her hand rested on his chest as she turned toward him. Her leg intwined itself with his. He pulled her closer, holding her tightly to him. "I love you Catherine. I want you right here with me always. Don't ever leave me..."

"I'm not going anywhere, Gil. Especially after _that!_ You are stuck with me now like never before."


	19. Chapter 19

Curled up at one end of her couch, Glyn heard her front door open as Jim came in form work. He frowned as he entered the room, having expected that she would be sleeping in what was becomming 'their' bed. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No, just couldn't seem to get comfortable. I did much better here on the couch. Somehow I can just prop up the shoulder better."

For the thousandth time in the last couple of days Jim felt a pang of guilt over her injury. If only he hadn't been such a klutz. She kept telling him that she was the one that knocked him over and caused her injury, but he still felt like it was his fault. Not that he minded taking care of her and seeing to her every need. It was after all what he intended to do anyway, as long as he had breath in his body. But last night had been the night he'd planned to ask her to marry him. Somehow getting all dressed up and taking her out on the town with her high on pain meds didn't seem like the perfect proposal. And he wanted the occassion to be perfect for her. After all, she wasn't getting much in the bargain. He thought the least he could do was make it romantic. Maybe next Saturday, he reflected.

He settled in next to her and reached over for a kiss. Her green eyes were shimmering and he couldn't tell if it was from the drugs or if it was an amorous shimmer. Probably the drugs, he thought.

"So, quiet shift, I hope? You're home almost on time so I'm taking that as a good sign."

"Yeah, not much going on for a Saturday night in Vegas," he replied. "Nick and Greg held down the CSI fort. Grissom actually took two consecutive days and arranged Catherine's schedule to match. Everyone's buzzing about that."

"Really? I know he was grieving when I arrived but I've always had the feeling that there's more between those two than the 'just friends' that they insist on being."

"Has been ever since I've known them. They've danced around each other since they first met almost twenty years ago. Sparks were flying when I moved here and started working with them. She was married though and Gil's not the sort of guy that makes a move on that. Not that he's the sort of guy that makes moves anyway. Only time I've seen him get flustered, I mean really flustered, over a woman was Lady Heather. I tried to tell him that a sports car would be easier and cheaper in the long run, but he didn't seem to listen."

"Lady Heather?"

"Dominatrix. Had quite a business going...internet and all. We ran across her on a couple of cases and then Gil ran the case when her daughter got killed. Somewhere in all that she managed to entangle Gil in her web and he seemed to be a willing volunteer. Never could figure out who was dominant there though. Anyway, she popped up last spring again in some twisted plot to get paid a lot of money for some nut to kill her and she'd leave the money to her daughter's baby. Somehow Gil figured it all out though and she's still around. When Cath and I went to interview Heather and inquired about her whereabouts the previous night...well, we both got a jolt when it turned out that Gil was her alibi. Sara was not happy when that bit of news hit the wire. But the whole Sara/Grissom thing was still underwraps then. I had it figured out but I'm not sure anyone else did."

"Grissom with a dominatrix? Somehow I just don't see it..."

"Oh, she's an unusual woman. Very intelligent. I think he enjoyed the mental chess matches. And she saw right through him. Pinned his ears to the wall a couple of times. I think they're just friends now. Something changed between them after he had a warrant served on her in one of the cases. Guess his job got in the way."

"Our jobs have a way of doing that...But now you think there's more to the Grissom/Catherine story?"

"Maybe. I know he's restless. Told me that the job just isn't enough for him anymore.I know he misses Sara; but I think that he misses having someone too. He's always been a loner, but after Sara he seems to want more in his life."

She smiled in his direction and reached with her good wing to stroke his cheek. "Yeah, life is so much sweeter when you have a cuddly-bear next to you in the bed."

Jim snickered. "Cuddly-bear? First you're calling me Thumper and now I'm a cuddly-bear. Somehow that feels like a demotion."

"Oh no...I'm just greedy. I want my Thumper AND my cuddly bear around all the time."

She watched as a contented smile settled into his expression. His warm blue eyes fixed themselves on her face as his fingers stroked her jaw. He was marveling at the phenomenon of her appearance in his life. It seemed he'd been on a downward sprial for years and here she was, lifting him to places of which he had never dared dream. It was unbelievably exhilarating and frightening at the same time. And he wasn't going to take one minute of it for granted. He wanted the full experience and if it meant that somewhere down the road he'd crash miserably into the earth, then that was the price he was willing to pay.He'd never felt this way before, never loved like this, nor had he ever felt love like this. She watched his eyes as his expression changed from contentment to elation to apprehension to determinationa and then joy. Tiny pools formed in the corners and threatened to seep out. "Jim, what is it? What are you thinking?"

He swallowed back the tears he felt forming and blinked. Barely able to speak he finally whispered. "Nothing really...just that I'm so...happy. I didn't know that this much happiness existed. I love you." He leaned forward and gently kissed her. There was no lust, no desire, no need in his kiss. It was a simple,yet euphoric expression of his love.

His tenderness overwhelmed her. Anyone who knew Jim, knew he had a tender side. They also understood that much of his dark humor and gruffness was an attempt to protect that part of himself. But here...now, she was only just really understanding the depths of his tenderness and his vulnerability. She recognized the trust he was placing in her by exposing himself so completely to her. Deploring the pain and despair that had seemed to follow him, she was awed by his strength of character. She'd seen other good men crack under such grief, yet he had somehow survived it all and preserved the best of himself through it. She snuggled into him, resting her head on his chest. The steady beat of his heart was comforting and peaceful to her. "I love you too. But somehow 'love' seems too small a word to express what I'm feeling right now." She thought of her childhood, her marriage, the loss of half her family, and the years of raising a child on her own. And a realization came over her. With him she had something she'd never really had before...she was home.

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That night at work, Grissom found Jim in his office. "Jim? How's it going?" he said as he sat in a chair across from the detective.

Surprised but happy to see his friend in a non case context, he replied, "Okay...you?"

Gil tried to keep a straight face but couldn't manage it."I have some news that I thought might interest you. But first, have you asked Glyn yet?"

"No, I was going to Saturday night but then I broke her and it didn't seem like the right time.I'll let her get off the pain pills. If she said yes now, I wouldn't believe her."

Gil smiled. "Well, you inspired me..."

"What? How?"

Gil brow furrowed a little as he tried to think of how to say it. Finally he decided to just jump in. He'd been soing a lot of that lately and it seemed to be working for him. "I asked Catherine to marry me and she said yes." His face was beaming.

After the shock subsided, Jim chuckled. "It's about time!" He popped out of his chair and shook Grissom's hand. "She actually said yes?"

"Yeah, I know." His whole demeanor was lighter than Jim had seen him in years. It was as if ten years had washed away.

"Hey, Gil...I was thinking the other night... I mean this probably isn't the time and all, but after Sara's funeral you quoted something about Purgatory...from Dante, I think."

"Yeah..." he paused as his brow gathered; his expression suddenly somber. "I guess that's where we've both been for awhile...purgatory.

Purgatory; a place where good souls twisted by the evils of the world go seeking restoration and redemption. Rehabilitated by celestial beings and renewed, they are lifted up on gossamer wings to witness paradise."

Jim couldn't place the quote and the style didn't sound like any of Grissom's usual favorites. "Dante again?" he guessed.

Gil's expression changed...softened. "No...Grissom. With some inspiration form Brass."

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As Grissom headed back to the lab, he thought of one more mission for the night. Catherine had been showing her ring to everyone and as he walked through the door, Grissom was greeted by congratulations and smug smiles. He located Nicky in the break room and asked him to come to his office.

"Hey Griss," Nick was smiling. "I think it is really great about you and Catherine. I mean, you two are so good together and you seem so happy. A few months ago I wouldn't have thought it was possible."

"About that Nicky..." Grissom wasn't quite sure how to approach it but once again he decided to dive in."Jim told me what you did...arranging her funeral and all. I know that took a lot...after you're own burial. And he told me what you said..."

"Ah, Griss, it's okay. I wanted to do it for her and for you."

"Yeah...that's what Jim said...it was the 'kind of thing a son does for his father,' were I think the exact words. Well, I have one more favor to ask. Nicky, would you be my best man? I mean, well...it is the kind of thing a father might ask of a son, you know."

Nick was unable to speak. He did something he knew Grissom would hate. He hugged the man. But Grissom didn't flinch. He was after all, headed for paradise.

THE END...Maybe

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Author's note; I have ideas for a continuation of the story. Especially the Brass POV. But this is way longer than I intended so I'll write those later. I must admit that I have acquired new respect for those who write for a living. Keeping up witht the threads and what I have or have not already written is daunting. Even more, I've grown a tremendous amount of repect for the writers of CSI and the actors that make the characters real. Paul Guilfoyle and William Petersen are remarkable, I believe. To write the characters of Brass and Grissom has been fun but would have been impossible without the flesh and blood that these two thespians infuse into them. Many thanks to those who have followed the whole story. All your comments were and are appreciated. It's more fun to write if you think someone else might be enjoying it too!


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